Pain In The Arse

Dear Anyone,

Today I returned to work after a week off sick. I'm not embarassed to say it, I had a abscess on my bum bum, and it has to be the most painful thing I think I've ever experienced. The pain started gradually about 3 weeks ago, but I thought it was just the recurring ache I get in my coccyx, as a result of a rollerskating accident I had as a child. When I went to my GP he was only too happy to tell me that I've diagnosed myself correctly. Lazy bastards. But it got worse and worse, so last week Saturday I had to go to A&E, because I could barely walk, and I couldn't sit. The doctor there told me it was the beginnings of an abscess, so she prescribed some antibiotics (the answer to everything it seems). I spent the whole weekend lying on my stomach, because I couldn't sit or walk. It was awful. And to add insult to injury, the weather was beautiful and I missed it all! And to add a slap to the insult added to the injury, my monthly visitor decided to come a wreak more havoc. You know when you want to just wail like a baby,because you think it'll make everything better? That's how I felt. But don't worry, I didn't.

One good thing happened though - Muscle came to visit me. It was so sweet of him, and I felt a bit bad because I didn't go and see him when he had the flu the week before. Luckily he came the day after the nasty abscess had burst, so I was slightly more mobile. He'd had a day crammed full of things to do, but he still made time for me, and I thank him for it. Twas nice.

I feel a lot better now, but I'm still a teeny bit fragile in that area, so if you see me don't pat me on the arse, as much as I know you'd want to...