Dear Anyone,
Guess what! I've only just gone and had a date tonight! "A second date?" - I hear you cry. Yep, but not with the same guy, I reply. Tonight's date was with a guy we'll call Muscle (and if you see him you'll know why). I've been chatting to him so far on a platonic basis, via the good ole social networking sites (yes I'm also sensing a theme here) and I see him every now and again at some club nights. Only this week the conversations have taken a slightly flirtatious route, which is all good with me, because he's a sexy guy - 6'0", extremely athletically built with 20-pack abs and a bald head - my kinda thing! He asked for my number two days ago, text me yesterday and asked me out today while I was at work. It was obviously meant to be, because I was due to go bowling with my colleagues, but that got postponed almost immediately after I replied and told him I wasn't free tonight.
He wasn't driving, so we met up at my nearest tube station, but we went to Brixton to find somewhere to eat, since we were both starving. Ever-trusty Nandos was the most suitable place we could find - all the other places were full and had long waiting times. It was really nice though, we chatted and chatted and ate and laughed and chatted and reminisced about our childhoods and ate and laughed and chatted... you get the drift. He's a really nice guy, very easy to be around and very easy going. The only thing I was a bit unsure about was that we went dutch on the bill, and I thought that maybe it would have been his treat since HE asked ME out. I don't want to seem ungrateful or stuck-up, because I'm not like that at all. I should be happy that I even had a date on a Friday night! It's just that I thought that maybe he would take care of it, but it's cool. I never go out without money on me anyway, so it was no big deal. That was the only thing. Aside from that, he's lovely and he travelled back to my tube station with me, before making his way home, and he lives very far from me. There was no kissing when we were parting, but a nice hug and just as I was getting on my bus, he snuck a pinch of my arse! Naughty boooy....
Friday 29 February 2008
Sunday 24 February 2008
Could It Be Magic Now...
Dear Anyone,
I had a date last night!!!!! And it was really nice thank you... well it was about 95% really nice, and slightly disappointing at the end. It was with the guy I told you about earlier - the one I liked 10 years ago. We'll call him 'Bumper' (and if he reads this - which I hope he doesn't - he'll know why).
We've been speaking quite regularly, via text and phone conversations, and when asked me to pencil him in for Saturday, I didn't think it would actually happen, so I really did write it in pencil in my Filofax. He has a tendency to let me down, and it's something I constantly make fun of him about... Hmm... maybe I should actually take note of that...
Anyway, we met up at about 10.30pm (my fault - I was the one running late) and we went to a pool place that he goes to quite often. He was really quite chivalrous to be honest - me first through the door, he paid for my entry, paid for the table and paid for the drinks. It was a really nice evening, never awkward at any time. We joked around a lot, flirted a bit (but never in an extremely obvious way), I let him win *cough* three games, and we chatted. We left the pool place at about 2.30am, and didn't actually know what to do next, so we ended up walking up the high street till we could think of something to do. I won't lie... I was waiting for him to suggest going back to his, because it was the most obvious decision for that time of night in an area where everything is shut, and going back to my place (which seriously lacks privacy) wasn't an option for me. But he never said. As much as I tried to prompt him into saying it, he didn't. We ended up stopping to sit at a bus stop - well actually I sat, and he stood in front of me with his legs either side of mine (very suggestive but nice!) - and we were still umming and ahhing about what to do next, so I said: "We have two choices... we either get a drink and go back to yours, or we both get in our cabs and go home." Then he said, "My daughter would kick your arse if you came back to mine," and he laughed. Obviously the alarm bells started ringing in the distance, and I said: "Oh, she's at your house.." and he said "Yep." So naturally the next question was "With who... her mum?" And he said: "With her mum and my mum..." I thought "OKAY!" Then he started looking really troubled and slightly agitated, and said that if I knew about his situation then I'd understand why he is the way he is sometimes. So I told him to tell me what it is, and he said that now wasn't the right time, but he will tell me soon because he has to and he wants to. I asked him: "Are you getting married or something?" and he said "No nothing like that, although I've been getting hassled about that for the past 6 years." Okaaaay. Right. So... what the feck is it then?! I asked him if it's something that will upset me, and he said it shouldn't, but when he told one of his friends, she said it was sad, and the last girl he told accused him of being a liar. Then, because I went a bit quiet, he asked me what I was thinking, so I said to him: "I'm thinking... I really want to know what it is you have to say, and obviously you're not comfortable telling me now, but at the same time I've had a really nice evening and I don't want to spoil it by going home upset. But I also don't want it to a case of I'm sitting here, enjoying the company of someone else's man, because I've been through that crap before and I've had enough of it." He just nodded his head and said "I hear you, I hear you."
After that I decided that we should just call it a night and take our cabs home, but he decided he was going to walk around for a bit to clear his head. I didn't realise it was THAT deep. He told me to call him when I got home, which I did, and we spoke for almost an hour.
I just really want to know what the 'thing' is, but I'm also starting to think that the Universe doesn't want anything to occur between us.
I had a date last night!!!!! And it was really nice thank you... well it was about 95% really nice, and slightly disappointing at the end. It was with the guy I told you about earlier - the one I liked 10 years ago. We'll call him 'Bumper' (and if he reads this - which I hope he doesn't - he'll know why).
We've been speaking quite regularly, via text and phone conversations, and when asked me to pencil him in for Saturday, I didn't think it would actually happen, so I really did write it in pencil in my Filofax. He has a tendency to let me down, and it's something I constantly make fun of him about... Hmm... maybe I should actually take note of that...
Anyway, we met up at about 10.30pm (my fault - I was the one running late) and we went to a pool place that he goes to quite often. He was really quite chivalrous to be honest - me first through the door, he paid for my entry, paid for the table and paid for the drinks. It was a really nice evening, never awkward at any time. We joked around a lot, flirted a bit (but never in an extremely obvious way), I let him win *cough* three games, and we chatted. We left the pool place at about 2.30am, and didn't actually know what to do next, so we ended up walking up the high street till we could think of something to do. I won't lie... I was waiting for him to suggest going back to his, because it was the most obvious decision for that time of night in an area where everything is shut, and going back to my place (which seriously lacks privacy) wasn't an option for me. But he never said. As much as I tried to prompt him into saying it, he didn't. We ended up stopping to sit at a bus stop - well actually I sat, and he stood in front of me with his legs either side of mine (very suggestive but nice!) - and we were still umming and ahhing about what to do next, so I said: "We have two choices... we either get a drink and go back to yours, or we both get in our cabs and go home." Then he said, "My daughter would kick your arse if you came back to mine," and he laughed. Obviously the alarm bells started ringing in the distance, and I said: "Oh, she's at your house.." and he said "Yep." So naturally the next question was "With who... her mum?" And he said: "With her mum and my mum..." I thought "OKAY!" Then he started looking really troubled and slightly agitated, and said that if I knew about his situation then I'd understand why he is the way he is sometimes. So I told him to tell me what it is, and he said that now wasn't the right time, but he will tell me soon because he has to and he wants to. I asked him: "Are you getting married or something?" and he said "No nothing like that, although I've been getting hassled about that for the past 6 years." Okaaaay. Right. So... what the feck is it then?! I asked him if it's something that will upset me, and he said it shouldn't, but when he told one of his friends, she said it was sad, and the last girl he told accused him of being a liar. Then, because I went a bit quiet, he asked me what I was thinking, so I said to him: "I'm thinking... I really want to know what it is you have to say, and obviously you're not comfortable telling me now, but at the same time I've had a really nice evening and I don't want to spoil it by going home upset. But I also don't want it to a case of I'm sitting here, enjoying the company of someone else's man, because I've been through that crap before and I've had enough of it." He just nodded his head and said "I hear you, I hear you."
After that I decided that we should just call it a night and take our cabs home, but he decided he was going to walk around for a bit to clear his head. I didn't realise it was THAT deep. He told me to call him when I got home, which I did, and we spoke for almost an hour.
I just really want to know what the 'thing' is, but I'm also starting to think that the Universe doesn't want anything to occur between us.
Monday 18 February 2008
Pull Yer Finger Out, Love
Dear Anyone,
I need to get my skates on with this job hunting malarkey. My Eye-Candy just recently told me that's he's found another job, and he's handed in his notice. He's a young but flippin' serious guy. I need to take a leaf out of his book. He told me he was going to start job hunting and that was only a couple of months ago, and now he has a new one, with a 5.5k payrise. How embarassing for me!!
I've told myself that if I'm still here by December (when I need time off to go abroad) then I will officially change my name to 'Loser.' I will. I can not be here. Even my manager has told me to get a move on, and she's all for helping me find what I'm looking for, which is extremely helpful.
So this is me telling you that the dilly-dallying stops here and I'm now going to be VERY VERY SERIOUS!! I am.
I need to get my skates on with this job hunting malarkey. My Eye-Candy just recently told me that's he's found another job, and he's handed in his notice. He's a young but flippin' serious guy. I need to take a leaf out of his book. He told me he was going to start job hunting and that was only a couple of months ago, and now he has a new one, with a 5.5k payrise. How embarassing for me!!
I've told myself that if I'm still here by December (when I need time off to go abroad) then I will officially change my name to 'Loser.' I will. I can not be here. Even my manager has told me to get a move on, and she's all for helping me find what I'm looking for, which is extremely helpful.
So this is me telling you that the dilly-dallying stops here and I'm now going to be VERY VERY SERIOUS!! I am.
Wednesday 6 February 2008
It Is What It Is
Dear Anyone,
I think I've come to terms with the nature of my relationship with Undeserving. It is what it is, basically. He likes me, I sometimes like him, and there will be times when we speak every day, and times when we don't speak for about a week. We will spend time together sometimes, but he's not my boyfriend and I'm not his girlfriend. As much as he tries to deny it, I know it's not just me he chases, but whereas it bothered me before, now I feel like "Whatever." I might as well have fun while I can.
Thanks to the book I'm reading I've realised that I'm an Agenda Girl, and I want to put a stop to that. I have problems living in the now, and I'm constantly thinking about what a situation will lead to in the future. Well actually that's not strictly true - it only really applies to guys, because usually I like to be as spontaneous as I can be in any other given circumstance.
Just in case you're a bit baffled, an Agenda Girl is one who has an agenda (no, really??!). She knows what type of man she wants, how old he should be, what career he should have, what car he should drive, what age she wants to get married, when she should have kids, etc. I wouldn't say that I'm as anal as all those points, but I did originally want to get married on August 20th (on whichever year it fell on a Saturday) and have my first child at 26. And I do wonder whether any guy I meet will be marriage material, and whether my parents and friends will like him, and how serious he is about relationships and all that, and maybe that's something I shouldn't do. I might be letting off those vibes without realising it. I should just throw caution to the wind... let the Universe decide what happens.
So that's what I'm going to do. I know this might have some of you shouting at me / the computer screen. I've already got someone at work telling me that I've "sold my soul to the DJ" but right now I just don't give a shite. I need to stop putting pressure on myself and just live my life. It could be over in a second.
I think I've come to terms with the nature of my relationship with Undeserving. It is what it is, basically. He likes me, I sometimes like him, and there will be times when we speak every day, and times when we don't speak for about a week. We will spend time together sometimes, but he's not my boyfriend and I'm not his girlfriend. As much as he tries to deny it, I know it's not just me he chases, but whereas it bothered me before, now I feel like "Whatever." I might as well have fun while I can.
Thanks to the book I'm reading I've realised that I'm an Agenda Girl, and I want to put a stop to that. I have problems living in the now, and I'm constantly thinking about what a situation will lead to in the future. Well actually that's not strictly true - it only really applies to guys, because usually I like to be as spontaneous as I can be in any other given circumstance.
Just in case you're a bit baffled, an Agenda Girl is one who has an agenda (no, really??!). She knows what type of man she wants, how old he should be, what career he should have, what car he should drive, what age she wants to get married, when she should have kids, etc. I wouldn't say that I'm as anal as all those points, but I did originally want to get married on August 20th (on whichever year it fell on a Saturday) and have my first child at 26. And I do wonder whether any guy I meet will be marriage material, and whether my parents and friends will like him, and how serious he is about relationships and all that, and maybe that's something I shouldn't do. I might be letting off those vibes without realising it. I should just throw caution to the wind... let the Universe decide what happens.
So that's what I'm going to do. I know this might have some of you shouting at me / the computer screen. I've already got someone at work telling me that I've "sold my soul to the DJ" but right now I just don't give a shite. I need to stop putting pressure on myself and just live my life. It could be over in a second.
Monday 4 February 2008
Once Bitten...(you know the rest)
Dear Anyone,
I think I'm becoming attracted to someone I used to be attracted to... and it's not necessarily a good thing. The first time round was years ago, when I didn't really know very much about the dating game. I got to know him through mutual friends and started liking him. Everyone has that person of the opposite sex, who they can say they spent hours and hours through the night on the phone with... he was that for me. Very easy to talk to, funny, and he had beautiful arms (yes that's important!). The problem was that someone close to me also liked him, and it turned into a sort of 'un-said' rivalry. In the end he chose her, but not before taking as much advantage of the situation as possible, by leading me to believe that he was also interested in me (even though I know he'd deny it to the death). I was really upset, and part of it was because I felt like a complete idiot. I'd found out when I called her one day, and she was at his house, and she told me that they'd been together for a week already.
He and I got back in touch last year, thanks to the power of the good old social networking sites, where we've been chatting a lot, and sometimes on the phone (but not that much). Some of the conversations have been quite flirty, but I have a feeling he's doing what he did back then, which is lure me into a false sense of security, which could then lead me to make a complete arse of myself.
I'd like to know whether there's a possibility that the flirting is for real, but I don't know how to go about finding out. I can't risk ANYTHING. Ok that sounds a bit melodramatic, but you get my point, right? He is someone who takes so very long to do things, and when I think that maybe we're getting somewhere that might give me an answer to something that might get me somewhere, he just takes it full circle and plays games. I don't know how he actually gets into relationships. He's so frustrating! I'm not going to do anything about it though, I've learnt my lesson when it comes to taking the bull by the horns. But watch this space, and I'll let you know how this develops... if it even develops at all.
I think I'm becoming attracted to someone I used to be attracted to... and it's not necessarily a good thing. The first time round was years ago, when I didn't really know very much about the dating game. I got to know him through mutual friends and started liking him. Everyone has that person of the opposite sex, who they can say they spent hours and hours through the night on the phone with... he was that for me. Very easy to talk to, funny, and he had beautiful arms (yes that's important!). The problem was that someone close to me also liked him, and it turned into a sort of 'un-said' rivalry. In the end he chose her, but not before taking as much advantage of the situation as possible, by leading me to believe that he was also interested in me (even though I know he'd deny it to the death). I was really upset, and part of it was because I felt like a complete idiot. I'd found out when I called her one day, and she was at his house, and she told me that they'd been together for a week already.
He and I got back in touch last year, thanks to the power of the good old social networking sites, where we've been chatting a lot, and sometimes on the phone (but not that much). Some of the conversations have been quite flirty, but I have a feeling he's doing what he did back then, which is lure me into a false sense of security, which could then lead me to make a complete arse of myself.
I'd like to know whether there's a possibility that the flirting is for real, but I don't know how to go about finding out. I can't risk ANYTHING. Ok that sounds a bit melodramatic, but you get my point, right? He is someone who takes so very long to do things, and when I think that maybe we're getting somewhere that might give me an answer to something that might get me somewhere, he just takes it full circle and plays games. I don't know how he actually gets into relationships. He's so frustrating! I'm not going to do anything about it though, I've learnt my lesson when it comes to taking the bull by the horns. But watch this space, and I'll let you know how this develops... if it even develops at all.
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