Dear Anyone,
It's Friday night and I'm sitting at home alone, getting tipsy on Amarula bought in Germany by my brother. And I'm pissed off because I came home to discover that this same brother has thrown my towel away, saying that I've had it for too long. WTF?? I was already slightly annoyed because I waited so long for the bus home, long enough to read through both the London Lite and The London Paper. Working till 10pm is starting to really do my head in. Then when I get to my room I find a 20 pound note on my bedside table. I'm thinking it's the other Bro 2 paying his share of the phone bill, but when I ask him he tells me it was Bro 1 who left it there so that I can buy another towel, because he thinks my current one is old. What the f*** does it have to do with you????? Do you even live here???? As long as I'm happy with it and wash it regularly, how does it affect anyone else's life? IT DOESN'T. Now I have to go and get a new one which I'll have to wash a few times so that it doesn't leave lots of fluffy bits on my body. I don't care that he left money to get a new one, I just see that as arrogant behaviour. What gives anyone the right??? Grrrr...
...I'm also pissed because I haven't heard from that damn Undeserving ignoramus. How can you come and tell me how much you like me, etc, and then behave the exact way I told you not to? The exact way you said you wouldn't. But of course I know I'm the idiot for not kicking that ish to the curb a long long long time ago. I know it's a BTN situation (Better Than Nothing), but I'm not going to let it bother me, because I know who I want and I know how I'm going to make it happen. So I'm going to enjoy my evening, catch up on Hollyoaks and EastEnders... and slowly get more pissed... in the good way...
Friday 28 September 2007
Tuesday 25 September 2007
Tell Me...
Dear Anyone,
I need someone to tell me what exactly it is about me that screams "THE OTHER WOMAN!!!" Why do I only attract men who have wives or girlfriends?? Why am I not seen as the only woman?
I'm asking this today, because I have a feeling that someone at work is slightly attracted to me, but I could be just getting a bit ahead of myself. (And if he or anyone at work ends up reading this - please don't ask me who I'm talking about because I won't tell you. Could be a client, could be a team member, I'm not saying). I've done the married man thing, and I though I kind of feel bad that I went there, at the same time I don't 100% regret it. I was young, and I look at it as a learning experience. I learnt that I won't do it again, because married men who stray are just extremely weak, greedy and selfish (especially if he's 35 and the girl is only 23. Loser.).
But I always get unavailable guys. Always. Always always always. And if a guy is available, I'm just not attracted to him. I'm not apologising for it either. I used to feel bad if someone liked me and I didn't like him, so that made me end up getting involved with complete time-wasters, but now I'm not doing that anymore. Yes I want a relationship, and I'm going to moan and moan about it till your ears/eyes bleed, but I'm also not going to accept just any guy because he likes me. I'm at a serious point in my life, and I'm looking for someone who is in it for the long haul. Fair enough, I'm currently still giving time to someone who doesn't deserve me and who I definitely will not be marrying, but I'm going to put a complete end to that and he'll be the last of that sort.
I need to take a long, good look at my behaviour and see where it is I go wrong. Am I too friendly and easy-going? Maybe I should be a bit stuck-up, because they say nice girls finish last, don't they? 'Undeserving' (as he'll be known) has told me that I'm too nice for my own good, and I took that to mean that I let people get away with things that they shouldn't. Ha - not anymore sunshine..
I need someone to tell me what exactly it is about me that screams "THE OTHER WOMAN!!!" Why do I only attract men who have wives or girlfriends?? Why am I not seen as the only woman?
I'm asking this today, because I have a feeling that someone at work is slightly attracted to me, but I could be just getting a bit ahead of myself. (And if he or anyone at work ends up reading this - please don't ask me who I'm talking about because I won't tell you. Could be a client, could be a team member, I'm not saying). I've done the married man thing, and I though I kind of feel bad that I went there, at the same time I don't 100% regret it. I was young, and I look at it as a learning experience. I learnt that I won't do it again, because married men who stray are just extremely weak, greedy and selfish (especially if he's 35 and the girl is only 23. Loser.).
But I always get unavailable guys. Always. Always always always. And if a guy is available, I'm just not attracted to him. I'm not apologising for it either. I used to feel bad if someone liked me and I didn't like him, so that made me end up getting involved with complete time-wasters, but now I'm not doing that anymore. Yes I want a relationship, and I'm going to moan and moan about it till your ears/eyes bleed, but I'm also not going to accept just any guy because he likes me. I'm at a serious point in my life, and I'm looking for someone who is in it for the long haul. Fair enough, I'm currently still giving time to someone who doesn't deserve me and who I definitely will not be marrying, but I'm going to put a complete end to that and he'll be the last of that sort.
I need to take a long, good look at my behaviour and see where it is I go wrong. Am I too friendly and easy-going? Maybe I should be a bit stuck-up, because they say nice girls finish last, don't they? 'Undeserving' (as he'll be known) has told me that I'm too nice for my own good, and I took that to mean that I let people get away with things that they shouldn't. Ha - not anymore sunshine..
Thursday 20 September 2007
Let's Try It This way
Dear Anyone,
I've created my first weblog! This is because I'm having problems writing in my notebook journal. I don't know why. I love writing. I always find any excuse to make a list, or write down suggestions, or just doodle, but when it comes to writing things I should be writing, I can't. I'm trying to pen my first book and it's like I'm scared of what to write. I don't understand it! Everything I want to say is in my head, but it's not coming out on paper or on screen the way I want it to. So maybe if I do this, I'll draw inspiration somehow. And those of you who end up reading this can maybe give me ideas on how to gain insight, inspiration and ideas (because I am soooo not an ideas chick).
This will hopefully be quite fun though. And even though (hopefully) people will read it, I'm going to try and be 100% honest about what I'm writing, otherwise it will defeat the purpose of my book really won't it? You'll find out more about my book later.
For now I'm off to bed... Later. x
I've created my first weblog! This is because I'm having problems writing in my notebook journal. I don't know why. I love writing. I always find any excuse to make a list, or write down suggestions, or just doodle, but when it comes to writing things I should be writing, I can't. I'm trying to pen my first book and it's like I'm scared of what to write. I don't understand it! Everything I want to say is in my head, but it's not coming out on paper or on screen the way I want it to. So maybe if I do this, I'll draw inspiration somehow. And those of you who end up reading this can maybe give me ideas on how to gain insight, inspiration and ideas (because I am soooo not an ideas chick).
This will hopefully be quite fun though. And even though (hopefully) people will read it, I'm going to try and be 100% honest about what I'm writing, otherwise it will defeat the purpose of my book really won't it? You'll find out more about my book later.
For now I'm off to bed... Later. x
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)