"It's Complicated"

Dear Anyone,


I've decided that men like the drama of a difficult girlfriend. They're completely attracted to it, it's what actually turns them on, and clearly where I've been going wrong. How else could you explain a 'complicated' situation? No relationship is ever complicated unless it will result in a person's death, and when is that ever the case??


I'm probably thinking mostly about Emperor. You probably gathered, since you haven't heard anything new about him, that there's nothing to report, and it's clearly obvious that he's decided to stay in his unfulfilling relationship, so I have decided to return to our previous, purely platonic friendship, otherwise I'd be sitting here waiting like a fool and I don't have time for that. In case you've forgotten - I'm 32.


I also have a feeling that Tod has a girlfriend, from things I've seen on Facebook.


There are two things that bug me about the above situations. Firstly, as I have already stated, I don't get why a drama-free, issue-free, non-difficult woman like me isn't better than one who carries her previous relationship insecurities, making her constantly suspicious. Obviously 'complicated' is where it's at. Maybe headaches are actually fun, and I just didn't get that memo. Secondly, and I can assure you that if Tod indeed does have a new girlfriend, I am in no way jealous simply because we are not suited to each other in the long-run. What gets my goat is - how is it fair that someone insincere like him, who doesn't treat women fairly, should then find happiness, and I'm still sitting here?! It wasn't supposed to work out that way. But then I'm not really surprised...


I guess I just have to sit here and watch everyone else progress in relationships, and keep praying for that whirlwind romance, which is currently my only hope.

Dare To Jump

Dear Anyone,

I think I must be crazy. Yesterday I did a free fall at work for Sport Relief, and I'm sure I can still feel myself shaking!

When I say 'free fall' don't think I'm talking about falling from an aeroplane (as a lot of people thought) because I'm only a partial idiot, not a complete one. This fall was from the third floor of our office building, and yes I know it sounds quite low, but it wasn't.

I was completely fine leading up to it, because I wasn't really sure what would be involved, so I didn't know what to imagine, even though everyone was saying they'd never do it. But when I actually reached the platform and had my harness attached... wow... to say I was scared is a complete understatement. I was SH*TTING myself! I couldn't let go of the railing, even though the guy who was assisting kept telling me that I don't have to jump, just step off. There were so many people at the bottom watching me - ALL my colleagues plus others. It took me about three minutes in total to do the fall, because I kept sticking my foot out and nearly doing it, but then the vertigo got the better of me and I couldn't do it. Every time I almost did, I could hear the crowd go "Ooooooh" which was quite funny. But I knew I had to do it, so in the end another of my colleagues, who had gone before me, offered to jump with me. By the way - no one actually told me you could jump in twos! Honestly if I had known, I would have forced my manager (who tricked me into thinking she was doing it too) to go with me. But my colleague held my hand, so there was no way I could hesitate, otherwise he would have probably ended up dragging me down, then I would have suffered a mid-air cardiac arrest, banged my head on landing and probably died. There's no need for that kind of drama really is there?

I did it though! I screamed all the way down, but I did it! Everyone was cheering, and I landed on my arse, which was embarrassing, and I doubt I'll ever do such an activity again, but I managed to raise £125.50 for Sport Relief, so it wasn't all bad!