Right now I'm sitting at home nursing a sore head and wonky vision, having been off work for two days. I feel as though I'm drunk with a head-rush. My doctor's diagnosis is that it's some sort of inner-ear virus, and tomorrow I have to go for a flippin' blood test. I HATE NEEDLES. My own diagnosis is that I'm stressed and my job is probably the biggest factor. I still hate it, that hasn't changed, but I think it's also because it has been really busy lately, and there have been a lot of people off sick, which means I usually end up covering, and I'm just generally a bit run-down. This is coupled with the worry of job-hunting and finding something new soon that will take me closer to my chosen career - writing.
One good thing though is that I have been able to think and put a career plan into action. I got together with SP last week to discuss ways in which I can basically leave my job sensibly - as in - at least find something that pays the minimum pittance I get now. It was, and she was, very similar to my life coach and the sessions I have with her. My ideal situation would be to freelance obviously, working from home, but that's going to be a work in progress. But we made lists and targets etc, and I feel really good about it all.
I also came to a conclusion during our meeting too. I've been afraid to entertain the idea of leaving my current job and rather temping in, because all I think about is how I would pay my share of the bills, and this is because my mum has kind of been hammering that point into me, so the thought of leaving work to maybe do an internship and temp didn't seem possible or make any sense. When I spoke to her about it, she said that all she was thinking about was how depressed I was when I was unemployed after graduating, and she doesn't want me to return to that dark place. She also said that when I was younger I was quite confident, bubbly and determined, but since the period of unemployment my confidence took a serious dive, which more than likely contributed to me not being able to hold down jobs I really wanted. I never really thought about it that way, but in hindsight she is definitely right. So I'm no longer going to blame those previous employers and say that is was their loss, because back then they probably didn't think there was anything special to keep.
I'm ready now though... I've done my time in Unsatisfiedland, and it's time for me to show what I've learned in the past few years. There's a reason I've been a magazine addict since the age of 10, and enjoy reading so much, and constantly correct people on their punctuation and grammatical errors - I'm a born journo.
SAY IT LOUD - I'M BACK AND I'M PROUD!!
