Dear Anyone,
So.... you remember how I asked you not to shout at me if it happened again? Well please don't shout at me, but Undeserving's number kind of found its way back into my phone a little while ago. I know I know, but on the plus side I haven't seen him. The thing is we've spoken, not so often, but it's been cool. Yesterday however, we had a disagreement about his usual blase attitude, and he had the cheek - the bare-faced gall - to hang up on me. Now those who know me (and know me well) will know that hanging the phone up on me is something I consider to be one of the rudest, most disrespectful things you can do. You're basically telling that I'm talking shite. And he did it. I actually looked at my phone for about ten seconds like it didn't really happen. It must have been a network failure or something, surely. Maybe I shouldn't have, but I called back. And it just rang. So then I started to get hot, and because you can't see me blush, you'll see me sweat. I was itching to call him back and leave a message on his voicemail, telling him about himself, his mother and his grandmother, but I was in a public place and I didn't want those around me to know of the shameful thing that had just happened to me.
I took my mum and my cousin out for dinner in the evening, so while we were waiting to order I took the opportunity to excuse myself and go to the Ladies. I called the Underserving bastard's number again and I knew he wouldn't answer, so I had already anticipated having to leave a message. I wasn't rude. I spoke calmly and factually.
"Do you know what Undeserving? In the time I have known you, you've done so many things that have upset me or pissed me off, and like an idiot I've always turned the other cheek or listened to your excuses. But I have never disrespected in such a way by hanging up on you, because I'm not rude like that. Hanging up on me means you're telling me that anything I have to say to you is rubbish, and you don't want to hear it. Yesterday we arranged to meet up, and I was calling you and you didn't pick up, and it's only today you're calling me back. That kind of behaviour pisses me off, so why do you think you're the one who has the right to be annoyed? I don't have time for such childish behaviour. If you want to speak to me properly you can call me, otherwise I'll see you around."
He returned my call about 45 mins later, while I was tucking into my delicious meal, and I answered it. I knew he'd call back, because he knows what I said is true. He said that when I had earlier answered the phone with "Yes what?" he got annoyed, because it sounded like I wasn't prepared to listen to what he had to say. Be a man for God's sake!! He said he had fallen asleep at his mum's house after dinner, and woke up suddenly realising he'd left his phone at work, and he'd only got it back when he went in today.
Is it really..? Whatever. I no longer care to tell you the truth. It's all tiring and time consuming, and to tell you the truth, he isn't the one for me, and certainly isn't the one I'm going to marry. I know who that is, and I plan to get that ball rolling this weekend as a matter of fact. Watch this space...
Tuesday 30 October 2007
Friday 26 October 2007
Beg Friend Syndrome - A Sad Situation
Dear Anyone,
Last night I had the 'pleasure' of a free invitation to a party for a high profile ex-member of the biggest selling girl group (of all time apparently), and it was held at Mo*vida. Now for those not in the sociable know, Mo*vida is a night club that attracts celebs and stars, has a 'No Reality TV' people policy (which I think is SO funny!), and is constantly featured on the showbiz pages of newspapers with revellers falling out drunk, etc. RG and I went to collect our VIP wristbands beforehand, and arrived at the club a little after midnight. You could see the posers gathered already. The VIP section was a very small section, closed off by bouncers and rope, but of course we just flashed our red wristbands and were let in, and there were far far too many people in there. I mean fair enough I'm not really anything to do with The Star, but RG is styling a photoshoot with her on Sunday, and I was invited to the party by The Star's A&R manager, so I had a right to be there damn it.
Anyway the point of my post is: I have never seen so many wannabes in one place, at the same time, in my life! It was almost pathetic. Girls trying to beg friends with people who weren't actually anyone. It made me cringe. A relative of the A&R manager had the cheek to call us mere mortals.
"You mere mortals are going to have to stand further down there." Can you believe it? You're calling me and RG mere mortals, when I'm sure you don't even work in the media industry. Your brother does. Nobody knows you. I would have taken it as a joke, but he looked like he actually believed he was someone. So sad.
You know that people there (more than likely guys) were spending a whole month's salary on buying the most expensive champagne, just so the bartenders can walk through the club with sparklers on the bottle, in the hope that you look like some kind of loser baller. So sad. A lot of guys were standing facing The Star like they thought they could seduce her into thinking they were the man for her. Ha! You freakin wish my friend. There was also an embarassing PR chick, who must have arrived there at about 6pm just to secure her spot next to the area The Star would be sitting, who was dancing like a crackhead and trying to direct other people as to where they should be positioned. Word has it she's nearing 40. How sad. If only she could see how she looked. I'm sure she purposely went and got her hair done in a style to match The Star just so they had something to talk about. Watching her irritated me.
Being there made me realise that - 1) This is not my kind of place. It's not about having fun at all. It's about posing and trying to get noticed by people who you hope are paparazzi and will lead you to superficial fame. And - 2) This is actually some people's lives. This is what they live to do. A lot like Charley from this year's Big Brother. In fact - imagine her and everything she doesn't stand for. They just want to get noticed and have desperate men (hopefully) with money buy them drinks, and get them into similar clubs, so they can find other desperate men to do the same. It's really not my scene. The music was really good, but there was no eye-candy, and even if I saw the type of eye-candy I'm after, I'm certainly not his type. Those who know what I mean, know what I mean. I think I'll stick to being a nobody and go to places where dancing and having fun is the order of the day. I'll get "papped" by my friends and be "spotted" on Facebook.
Last night I had the 'pleasure' of a free invitation to a party for a high profile ex-member of the biggest selling girl group (of all time apparently), and it was held at Mo*vida. Now for those not in the sociable know, Mo*vida is a night club that attracts celebs and stars, has a 'No Reality TV' people policy (which I think is SO funny!), and is constantly featured on the showbiz pages of newspapers with revellers falling out drunk, etc. RG and I went to collect our VIP wristbands beforehand, and arrived at the club a little after midnight. You could see the posers gathered already. The VIP section was a very small section, closed off by bouncers and rope, but of course we just flashed our red wristbands and were let in, and there were far far too many people in there. I mean fair enough I'm not really anything to do with The Star, but RG is styling a photoshoot with her on Sunday, and I was invited to the party by The Star's A&R manager, so I had a right to be there damn it.
Anyway the point of my post is: I have never seen so many wannabes in one place, at the same time, in my life! It was almost pathetic. Girls trying to beg friends with people who weren't actually anyone. It made me cringe. A relative of the A&R manager had the cheek to call us mere mortals.
"You mere mortals are going to have to stand further down there." Can you believe it? You're calling me and RG mere mortals, when I'm sure you don't even work in the media industry. Your brother does. Nobody knows you. I would have taken it as a joke, but he looked like he actually believed he was someone. So sad.
You know that people there (more than likely guys) were spending a whole month's salary on buying the most expensive champagne, just so the bartenders can walk through the club with sparklers on the bottle, in the hope that you look like some kind of loser baller. So sad. A lot of guys were standing facing The Star like they thought they could seduce her into thinking they were the man for her. Ha! You freakin wish my friend. There was also an embarassing PR chick, who must have arrived there at about 6pm just to secure her spot next to the area The Star would be sitting, who was dancing like a crackhead and trying to direct other people as to where they should be positioned. Word has it she's nearing 40. How sad. If only she could see how she looked. I'm sure she purposely went and got her hair done in a style to match The Star just so they had something to talk about. Watching her irritated me.
Being there made me realise that - 1) This is not my kind of place. It's not about having fun at all. It's about posing and trying to get noticed by people who you hope are paparazzi and will lead you to superficial fame. And - 2) This is actually some people's lives. This is what they live to do. A lot like Charley from this year's Big Brother. In fact - imagine her and everything she doesn't stand for. They just want to get noticed and have desperate men (hopefully) with money buy them drinks, and get them into similar clubs, so they can find other desperate men to do the same. It's really not my scene. The music was really good, but there was no eye-candy, and even if I saw the type of eye-candy I'm after, I'm certainly not his type. Those who know what I mean, know what I mean. I think I'll stick to being a nobody and go to places where dancing and having fun is the order of the day. I'll get "papped" by my friends and be "spotted" on Facebook.
Wednesday 17 October 2007
I'm Wasting Awaaaaay...
Dear Anyone,
What am I doing in this job? No really. I feel like I'm sitting here wasting my life away, all because this damn company feel they need someone here till 10pm. It's nonsense. This isn't what I signed up for when I reluctantly decided to go to university. I'm supposed to be in a (seemingly) glamourous media position, networking, meeting new people and wearing what the feck I like. I should have a company-given Blackberry (or at least a Sidekick) and be able to check my emails from wherever I'm standing. I want to be able to have my work take me abroad every month or two, and build up my Virgin Atlantic airmiles. Why didn't I just take the university grant and £3000+ used for my Post-Grad to go and start a new life elsewhere? Instead I'm here at a firm in an industry I have 0% interest in, being forced to wear an ugly shirt also worn by the cleaners (but I'm putting it off for as long as I can) and working with 'managers' who refuse to operate on common sense. It's farcical.
Anyway I'm bang-on the job search again. I had a chat with my Eye-Candy yesterday, and he gave me a few agencies and websites to try, so that's what I'll do as soon as I get home. I don't belong here at all. I have no intention of moving up in this place, because I don't care. I'm better than this, and I have no qualms in saying that. My friend RG is also helping by putting out a good word for me to her contacts. She is setting up her own fashion brand, and she is being given completely unhelpful, don't-know-shite-about-anything advice such as "Why don't you get to know about fashion by taking on a part-time job in Peacocks, maybe 2 or 3 times a week?" Hello?!! She's an ex-Fashion & Beauty editor! She's already told others what they should be wearing by being a stylist, what the feck is Peacocks going to do for her life, apart from make her a laughing stock?! These 'advisers' are the people hired by the government to give business advice! God save us.
What am I doing in this job? No really. I feel like I'm sitting here wasting my life away, all because this damn company feel they need someone here till 10pm. It's nonsense. This isn't what I signed up for when I reluctantly decided to go to university. I'm supposed to be in a (seemingly) glamourous media position, networking, meeting new people and wearing what the feck I like. I should have a company-given Blackberry (or at least a Sidekick) and be able to check my emails from wherever I'm standing. I want to be able to have my work take me abroad every month or two, and build up my Virgin Atlantic airmiles. Why didn't I just take the university grant and £3000+ used for my Post-Grad to go and start a new life elsewhere? Instead I'm here at a firm in an industry I have 0% interest in, being forced to wear an ugly shirt also worn by the cleaners (but I'm putting it off for as long as I can) and working with 'managers' who refuse to operate on common sense. It's farcical.
Anyway I'm bang-on the job search again. I had a chat with my Eye-Candy yesterday, and he gave me a few agencies and websites to try, so that's what I'll do as soon as I get home. I don't belong here at all. I have no intention of moving up in this place, because I don't care. I'm better than this, and I have no qualms in saying that. My friend RG is also helping by putting out a good word for me to her contacts. She is setting up her own fashion brand, and she is being given completely unhelpful, don't-know-shite-about-anything advice such as "Why don't you get to know about fashion by taking on a part-time job in Peacocks, maybe 2 or 3 times a week?" Hello?!! She's an ex-Fashion & Beauty editor! She's already told others what they should be wearing by being a stylist, what the feck is Peacocks going to do for her life, apart from make her a laughing stock?! These 'advisers' are the people hired by the government to give business advice! God save us.
Friday 12 October 2007
Nice surprises
Dear Anyone,
Yesterday was sooo weird, but really nice.
While I was at work I received a call from a number I didn't recognise, and when I answered, the person on the other end didn't sound familiar at all. She kept asking whether I know who it is, and where I was, why I wasn't at home, etc, and that she was outside my house. I'm thinking that this was my cousin Isabel getting one of her friends to play tricks on me, so I asked what my address is and she told me. That completely baffled me. She said that she'll give me a clue, which was "I used to be your best friend", and then I knew. Hussna!! She's not supposed to be here! She's supposed to be in Malaysia cut off from the world! I haven't seen her since she had only two kids, now she has four! It was so bizarre. We were so close in our younger days. We lived on the same road, almost directly opposite each other, our birthdays are a week apart, and even at school when the class was made to sit in register order, we always ended up sitting together because I came after her in the register. So weird!!
She came to my house again when I got home from work and we did some serious catching up (I even introduced her to the delights of Facebook!). Then when I walked her home I ended up staying till after 1am. Her kids welcomed me straight away, hugging me and calling me 'Aunty.' It was so nice. Imagine - I'm a week older than her, but she's married with 4 kids. She's so much more of an adult than me, but still as silly as she was before. Sigh. Maybe one day. But I'm glad she didn't ask that flippin patronising, stupid question 'So when are you gonna get a boyfriend?' I hate it. I have a friend who asks me that whenever we meet and I just laugh it off. Whatever man. But it was a nice evening.
Yesterday was sooo weird, but really nice.
While I was at work I received a call from a number I didn't recognise, and when I answered, the person on the other end didn't sound familiar at all. She kept asking whether I know who it is, and where I was, why I wasn't at home, etc, and that she was outside my house. I'm thinking that this was my cousin Isabel getting one of her friends to play tricks on me, so I asked what my address is and she told me. That completely baffled me. She said that she'll give me a clue, which was "I used to be your best friend", and then I knew. Hussna!! She's not supposed to be here! She's supposed to be in Malaysia cut off from the world! I haven't seen her since she had only two kids, now she has four! It was so bizarre. We were so close in our younger days. We lived on the same road, almost directly opposite each other, our birthdays are a week apart, and even at school when the class was made to sit in register order, we always ended up sitting together because I came after her in the register. So weird!!
She came to my house again when I got home from work and we did some serious catching up (I even introduced her to the delights of Facebook!). Then when I walked her home I ended up staying till after 1am. Her kids welcomed me straight away, hugging me and calling me 'Aunty.' It was so nice. Imagine - I'm a week older than her, but she's married with 4 kids. She's so much more of an adult than me, but still as silly as she was before. Sigh. Maybe one day. But I'm glad she didn't ask that flippin patronising, stupid question 'So when are you gonna get a boyfriend?' I hate it. I have a friend who asks me that whenever we meet and I just laugh it off. Whatever man. But it was a nice evening.
Thursday 4 October 2007
You are the weakest link..
Dear Anyone,
Ok so I've done it. I've deleted Mr Undeserving's number from my phones, texts, call register and all, and I don't really know it off by heart. I know the beginning part, but the rest is a bit jumbled for me. I just know that there are a lot of eights. To be honest this isn't a big event or anything. It's not like he's the love of my life. Never that. It's just that he's the one who has been taking up my time unnecessarily, and if I ever want to find The One (even though I already know who he is) I have to rid myself of those who don't deserve me, right? Well that's what it says in the book The List. Not that I'm living my life according to self-help books, but it's always useful to have a guide. I have a feeling I might see Undeserving this Saturday, but even if I do I'm not going to swallow the bull he might try and feed me. Admittedly I do sometimes, but that's usually if I'm feeling lonely or in the need of some sort of attention, but now I need to be strong, and I will be strong dagnammit!!! You'll see.... (But if I come back and tell you that we spoke and I wasn't as strong as I'd hoped, please don't shout at me....Lol).
Ok so I've done it. I've deleted Mr Undeserving's number from my phones, texts, call register and all, and I don't really know it off by heart. I know the beginning part, but the rest is a bit jumbled for me. I just know that there are a lot of eights. To be honest this isn't a big event or anything. It's not like he's the love of my life. Never that. It's just that he's the one who has been taking up my time unnecessarily, and if I ever want to find The One (even though I already know who he is) I have to rid myself of those who don't deserve me, right? Well that's what it says in the book The List. Not that I'm living my life according to self-help books, but it's always useful to have a guide. I have a feeling I might see Undeserving this Saturday, but even if I do I'm not going to swallow the bull he might try and feed me. Admittedly I do sometimes, but that's usually if I'm feeling lonely or in the need of some sort of attention, but now I need to be strong, and I will be strong dagnammit!!! You'll see.... (But if I come back and tell you that we spoke and I wasn't as strong as I'd hoped, please don't shout at me....Lol).
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