Dear Anyone,
This may come as a complete shock to none of you, but I have still had no word from Boy Wonder. What the feck is he waiting for - Christmas? At this point that is very possible. Even Birthday Boy hasn't spoken to him since the day he returned the phone. Every time I hear the "Itchy & Scratchy" theme tune coming from my phone, and I see an unrecognised mobile number flashing, I get a little bit excited, but then that soon disappears when I answer and realise that it's one of my banks using cunning new ways to stop me from dodging their calls. They think they're smart.
I have one month and two days until I turn 30, and as the time edges closer and closer, I find myself more and more manless. It's terrible. Some people may say I'm being fussy, but I disagree. If I have been propositioned by someone I'm not attracted to, then I simply will not waste either of our time. Ask me again when I'm 35 and in the same predicament. By then I might have considered marrying for the sake of it. And as for having kids, I know a couple of guys who seem to be very good at making babies all over the place, so I'm sure one or two more won't make a difference to them. Ha ha ha - I'm only joking, I could never do that... I think...
Boy Wonder needs to realise that I would be a very good addition to his life. I sound like a crazy stalker, but I don't mean it in that way at all! We get on very well, and he behaves like he could be interested in me. And to me, he's almost exactly what I'm looking for, apart from the fact that he smokes. He's nice looking, taller than me, my age, lives in London, has no kids, funny, easy going - what else do you need?? He's the one who took MY number, for God's sake. I didn't pressure him in any way. Birthday Boy did tell me not to be surprised if I didn't hear from him within a week or maybe even a month, but Boy Wonder doesn't have to go and prove him right!!! Grrr.....
Tuesday 27 November 2007
Monday 19 November 2007
You Learn Something New Every Weekend
Dear Anyone,
I've just returned from quite a nice weekend away at Centerparcs with my friends Shar and some of her friends - not my usual bunch, which is good because I guess I have to come out of my usual comfort zone every now and then (even though I don't actually rely on my friends like some people think). It was a nice weekend though, and Centerparcs is a good place to go to just chill and take time off. There wasn't as much available to do that wasn't sports-related, but we did go to the Swimming Paradise which was wicked. I haven't been swimming in years.... and I also *cough* can't really swim, but those are minor details. As long as I stayed in the areas that weren't higher than 1.30m I was fine. I'm not that tall you see. The slides were cool too, but there was one that scared me a bit, simply because of the way everyone else seemed to hit the water at the end. They forced me to go on it by chanting my name (which was embarassing!) and I guess it wasn't that bad. I also rode a bicycle for the first time in years, and I wasn't as bad as I thought I might be!! Bikes are the only way to get around if your villa isn't as close to the centre as others. The ache in my thighs was shocking though!
One thing I realised was that my group of friends are a bit different to Shar's group, in the way we operate when we go away. I guess we are quite nerdy in the fact that we want to document everything we do by constantly taking photos, but they didn't. I might have been the only one with a camera, so I didn't take many pictures at all.
Also, Shar and her best friend had a big arguement while we were there (and it began over a discussion on religion, can you believe it? One of the biggest no-go subjects) but it seemed like it stemmed from built up frustrations. Behaviours that both parties haven't spoken up about previously, until now when it exploded. It was a little bit uncomfortable, but luckily I wasn't the only other person in the room. The bad thing was that they shouted they way they did in front of everyone in the house, but the good thing is that after they had both stormed off, Shar returned a few minutes later to go and speak privately and sort it out among themselves. I think it can go two ways though - either they will get whatever it is off their chests and be best friends again, because they're so close, or they will realise that they are possibly growing apart as they get older, and therefore agree to disagree. It can happen, especially since they're only in their early twenties. It's happened to me already (and we were older than they are now, but that's another story for another time...maybe).
I find that anytime you go away with a group of people you learn something new about yourself or the way other people operate. I can't actually think of what I learnt about myself, that I didn't already living away at Uni and going away with my friends, but I think Shar and her mates came to some personal realisations, and I'm wondering if Centerparcs will be a case of 'same time next year.'
I've just returned from quite a nice weekend away at Centerparcs with my friends Shar and some of her friends - not my usual bunch, which is good because I guess I have to come out of my usual comfort zone every now and then (even though I don't actually rely on my friends like some people think). It was a nice weekend though, and Centerparcs is a good place to go to just chill and take time off. There wasn't as much available to do that wasn't sports-related, but we did go to the Swimming Paradise which was wicked. I haven't been swimming in years.... and I also *cough* can't really swim, but those are minor details. As long as I stayed in the areas that weren't higher than 1.30m I was fine. I'm not that tall you see. The slides were cool too, but there was one that scared me a bit, simply because of the way everyone else seemed to hit the water at the end. They forced me to go on it by chanting my name (which was embarassing!) and I guess it wasn't that bad. I also rode a bicycle for the first time in years, and I wasn't as bad as I thought I might be!! Bikes are the only way to get around if your villa isn't as close to the centre as others. The ache in my thighs was shocking though!
One thing I realised was that my group of friends are a bit different to Shar's group, in the way we operate when we go away. I guess we are quite nerdy in the fact that we want to document everything we do by constantly taking photos, but they didn't. I might have been the only one with a camera, so I didn't take many pictures at all.
Also, Shar and her best friend had a big arguement while we were there (and it began over a discussion on religion, can you believe it? One of the biggest no-go subjects) but it seemed like it stemmed from built up frustrations. Behaviours that both parties haven't spoken up about previously, until now when it exploded. It was a little bit uncomfortable, but luckily I wasn't the only other person in the room. The bad thing was that they shouted they way they did in front of everyone in the house, but the good thing is that after they had both stormed off, Shar returned a few minutes later to go and speak privately and sort it out among themselves. I think it can go two ways though - either they will get whatever it is off their chests and be best friends again, because they're so close, or they will realise that they are possibly growing apart as they get older, and therefore agree to disagree. It can happen, especially since they're only in their early twenties. It's happened to me already (and we were older than they are now, but that's another story for another time...maybe).
I find that anytime you go away with a group of people you learn something new about yourself or the way other people operate. I can't actually think of what I learnt about myself, that I didn't already living away at Uni and going away with my friends, but I think Shar and her mates came to some personal realisations, and I'm wondering if Centerparcs will be a case of 'same time next year.'
Wednesday 14 November 2007
I Need Me Another Jobby-Job
Dear Anyone,
I need a new job, because this one is really getting on my nerves. I think that's why I've had a headache all week (yes I know it's still only Wednedsay). I feel like certain people are abusing their positions within the team slightly, and there's a small amount of bullying and favouritism to go with it. Don't worry, it's not directed towards me - I wouldn't have it. I think I have a problem with authority, in the sense that I can't take it when someone in a higher position speaks down to me. I hate it. I don't care about this job enough to stick around and put up with that kind of crap, but in this case it's directed towards one of my colleagues and I don't think it's fair. He and another colleague have noticed it too, so at least it's not in my head. This just reiterates how much I need to be serious in my job search. I have an application form to fill out and send by the 19th. I hate application forms, they're so old school. I don't think they allow you to fully express yourself the way a personal CV does. And it's even worse when the company wants you to post it to them, and won't accept emails. How prehistoric is that? Plus it's not environmentally friendly (not that I give much of a shite about that kind of thing... yeah I said it). But anyway I'm going to finish it off tonight because I have to post it tomorrow, since I'm not at work on Friday (thank God), heh heh... You catch my drift right?
I need a new job, because this one is really getting on my nerves. I think that's why I've had a headache all week (yes I know it's still only Wednedsay). I feel like certain people are abusing their positions within the team slightly, and there's a small amount of bullying and favouritism to go with it. Don't worry, it's not directed towards me - I wouldn't have it. I think I have a problem with authority, in the sense that I can't take it when someone in a higher position speaks down to me. I hate it. I don't care about this job enough to stick around and put up with that kind of crap, but in this case it's directed towards one of my colleagues and I don't think it's fair. He and another colleague have noticed it too, so at least it's not in my head. This just reiterates how much I need to be serious in my job search. I have an application form to fill out and send by the 19th. I hate application forms, they're so old school. I don't think they allow you to fully express yourself the way a personal CV does. And it's even worse when the company wants you to post it to them, and won't accept emails. How prehistoric is that? Plus it's not environmentally friendly (not that I give much of a shite about that kind of thing... yeah I said it). But anyway I'm going to finish it off tonight because I have to post it tomorrow, since I'm not at work on Friday (thank God), heh heh... You catch my drift right?
Monday 12 November 2007
Friends
Dear Anyone,
It seems my close friend SP is annoyed at me for posting a funny pic of her and RG in my Facebook album. From what I can gather from the response to the email I sent her this morning, she thinks I did it on purpose to annoy her. I knew what tone to read it in, because I've heard her speak that way to other people, like her younger brother. But why would I do that? The way I saw it, it's a funny photo and obviously not the way she normally looks. Plus RG is the main person in the photo, and SP is more in the background. It's kind of hurtful that she would think that way of me - as if I'm out to make her look bad. Why would I? When I told her I'd delete it, she basically said that's there's no point now, because I posted it knowing she wouldn't like it. OK...because I'd sit there and think to myself "What can I do to piss SP off?" I don't think so. I don't really know what I'm supposed to do. It feels strange, because we're really close. I know that I can be stubborn, but what stops me from wanting to apologise is the way she spoke to me in the first place, and the fact that she couldn't just ask me to take the photo down instead of being sarcastic. It was so unnecessary. She practically knows me better than anyone. I didn't appreciate that at all.
On a good note - today RG left to go and work in the U.S for two months. I'm so glad for her, because it's such an amazing opportunity. She's touring with a few big name stars, and she'll be in charge of wardrobe for all the shows. Mute and I were at her house till very late last night (or very early this morning) helping her pack and get organised. She was nervous and a bit unsure about whether she can handle the responsibilty, but we know she can. She's RG! I'll miss her and wish her good luck, but mostly I want her to enjoy it. We'll receive updates on what she's up to thanks to the wonders of modern technology, so I await her correspondence...
It seems my close friend SP is annoyed at me for posting a funny pic of her and RG in my Facebook album. From what I can gather from the response to the email I sent her this morning, she thinks I did it on purpose to annoy her. I knew what tone to read it in, because I've heard her speak that way to other people, like her younger brother. But why would I do that? The way I saw it, it's a funny photo and obviously not the way she normally looks. Plus RG is the main person in the photo, and SP is more in the background. It's kind of hurtful that she would think that way of me - as if I'm out to make her look bad. Why would I? When I told her I'd delete it, she basically said that's there's no point now, because I posted it knowing she wouldn't like it. OK...because I'd sit there and think to myself "What can I do to piss SP off?" I don't think so. I don't really know what I'm supposed to do. It feels strange, because we're really close. I know that I can be stubborn, but what stops me from wanting to apologise is the way she spoke to me in the first place, and the fact that she couldn't just ask me to take the photo down instead of being sarcastic. It was so unnecessary. She practically knows me better than anyone. I didn't appreciate that at all.
On a good note - today RG left to go and work in the U.S for two months. I'm so glad for her, because it's such an amazing opportunity. She's touring with a few big name stars, and she'll be in charge of wardrobe for all the shows. Mute and I were at her house till very late last night (or very early this morning) helping her pack and get organised. She was nervous and a bit unsure about whether she can handle the responsibilty, but we know she can. She's RG! I'll miss her and wish her good luck, but mostly I want her to enjoy it. We'll receive updates on what she's up to thanks to the wonders of modern technology, so I await her correspondence...
Wednesday 7 November 2007
Just my luck!!
Dear Anyone,
You'll never guess what's happened....... Boy Wonder has only gone and lost his phone. Can you believe my luck?? Some people would do anything to get out of making a phone call! But the good thing is we think it's in the sofa at Birthday Boy's flat. When I say 'we' I mean SP, myself and Birthday Boy, because of course Boy Wonder doesn't know that I know.
After everyone had left on Saturday/Sunday, we were catching a few zzzzs on the sofa before SP's brother drove us home, and I kept hearing a buzzing sound that was interrupting my attempt to sleep. Every time I looked around to see where it came from, I couldn't see anything. Then it would stop and start again. I didn't tell the others, because they looked like they were enjoying their kip, so I just ignored it as best I could.
Then today SP is told me that when she was at Brithday Boy's house later that day, she could also hear the buzzing vibrating sound, and they realised it was Boy Wonder's phone! It's not lost after all!! They just have to figure out a way to get to it without damaging the leather sofa. Birthday Boy said when they get it out he'll tell me before he tells Boy Wonder, therefore you'll all be the second to know!
You'll never guess what's happened....... Boy Wonder has only gone and lost his phone. Can you believe my luck?? Some people would do anything to get out of making a phone call! But the good thing is we think it's in the sofa at Birthday Boy's flat. When I say 'we' I mean SP, myself and Birthday Boy, because of course Boy Wonder doesn't know that I know.
After everyone had left on Saturday/Sunday, we were catching a few zzzzs on the sofa before SP's brother drove us home, and I kept hearing a buzzing sound that was interrupting my attempt to sleep. Every time I looked around to see where it came from, I couldn't see anything. Then it would stop and start again. I didn't tell the others, because they looked like they were enjoying their kip, so I just ignored it as best I could.
Then today SP is told me that when she was at Brithday Boy's house later that day, she could also hear the buzzing vibrating sound, and they realised it was Boy Wonder's phone! It's not lost after all!! They just have to figure out a way to get to it without damaging the leather sofa. Birthday Boy said when they get it out he'll tell me before he tells Boy Wonder, therefore you'll all be the second to know!
Sunday 4 November 2007
She shoots - She scores!!!
Dear Anyone,
He said yes! He said yes! He said yes! Oh my gosh, he said yes! He said yes! He said yes! Actually it wasn't exactly 'yes' it was more like "I'd love to." Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! I knew it!! Positive thinking actually worked for once in my life! I might try it more often.
Okay sorry, I've composed myself now. Let me tell you how it happened, because I know you're DYING to know. After dinner at the restaurant, we went back to Birthday Boy's flat for drinks, and of course Boy Wonder also came. I almost wasn't able to say anything to him, because he very nearly had to leave early, when his ride home decided to leave. Luckily Birthday Boy saved the day and managed to arrange another lift for him later. Phew. So from that moment I thought I couldn't waste time. About 10 mins later he, my friend SP and I were chatting, then SP left to go to the kitchen, so I decided to grab my opportunity - it was now or never. (ok maybe not 'never' exactly, but you get my drift). I grabbed his arm and told him to come with me, and took him round the corner where the front door was. I'm actually surprised that I didn't start sweating with nerves!
Me: I want to ask you something...and it might put you on the spot a bit, but you're a man so you can take it.
BW: Okay...
Me: (Taking his hand and swinging it *jokingly*)
BW: Yeah... you've brought me out here to ask me something and you're not saying anything!
Me: Shush!......(breathe)..... I want to ask you - would you like to go out for a drink or something with me one day?
BW: I'd love to.
Me: (smiling) Really? Don't just say it because you think you have to.
BW: I'm not. Yeah, I'd love to.
Then he took out his phone to take my number. Aaaaaahhhh!!!!!! I couldn't believe how easy it was. He also took my email address when I told him that I had previously emailed him and he ignored me. He reckons he never received it. Yeah - whatever! I don't even really care about that right now, I'm just high! Woooohooooo!!!
The embarassing part though was when we returned to the party. He stopped in the sitting room to chat to friends, and I continued to the kitchen where my girls were. I stood in the doorway and they all looked at me in anticipation. I didn't even open my mouth, I just smiled slightly and nodded my head, and they all started screaming with excitement. Mute was hitting me (the way she does when she's excited). Then who should walk into the kitchen? Boy Wonder of course. SP and RG were able to compose themselves quite quckly. but Mute was still going, so he MUST have known what I'd just told them. I was so embarassed! But he was smiling, so I hope it didn't spoil anything for me. Please don't let it have spoiled anything for me!
Now I'm excited, and I'm going to sit here and let my imagination run wild!!
He said yes! He said yes! He said yes! Oh my gosh, he said yes! He said yes! He said yes! Actually it wasn't exactly 'yes' it was more like "I'd love to." Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! I knew it!! Positive thinking actually worked for once in my life! I might try it more often.
Okay sorry, I've composed myself now. Let me tell you how it happened, because I know you're DYING to know. After dinner at the restaurant, we went back to Birthday Boy's flat for drinks, and of course Boy Wonder also came. I almost wasn't able to say anything to him, because he very nearly had to leave early, when his ride home decided to leave. Luckily Birthday Boy saved the day and managed to arrange another lift for him later. Phew. So from that moment I thought I couldn't waste time. About 10 mins later he, my friend SP and I were chatting, then SP left to go to the kitchen, so I decided to grab my opportunity - it was now or never. (ok maybe not 'never' exactly, but you get my drift). I grabbed his arm and told him to come with me, and took him round the corner where the front door was. I'm actually surprised that I didn't start sweating with nerves!
Me: I want to ask you something...and it might put you on the spot a bit, but you're a man so you can take it.
BW: Okay...
Me: (Taking his hand and swinging it *jokingly*)
BW: Yeah... you've brought me out here to ask me something and you're not saying anything!
Me: Shush!......(breathe)..... I want to ask you - would you like to go out for a drink or something with me one day?
BW: I'd love to.
Me: (smiling) Really? Don't just say it because you think you have to.
BW: I'm not. Yeah, I'd love to.
Then he took out his phone to take my number. Aaaaaahhhh!!!!!! I couldn't believe how easy it was. He also took my email address when I told him that I had previously emailed him and he ignored me. He reckons he never received it. Yeah - whatever! I don't even really care about that right now, I'm just high! Woooohooooo!!!
The embarassing part though was when we returned to the party. He stopped in the sitting room to chat to friends, and I continued to the kitchen where my girls were. I stood in the doorway and they all looked at me in anticipation. I didn't even open my mouth, I just smiled slightly and nodded my head, and they all started screaming with excitement. Mute was hitting me (the way she does when she's excited). Then who should walk into the kitchen? Boy Wonder of course. SP and RG were able to compose themselves quite quckly. but Mute was still going, so he MUST have known what I'd just told them. I was so embarassed! But he was smiling, so I hope it didn't spoil anything for me. Please don't let it have spoiled anything for me!
Now I'm excited, and I'm going to sit here and let my imagination run wild!!
Thursday 1 November 2007
Game On
Dear Anyone,
Oooh... I'm really really looking forward to Saturday. That is the day I plan to make my intentions clear to the guy I plan to marry later in life. We'll call him Boy Wonder (simply because I'm Wondering why this Boy isn't mine already!). I will be attending a birthday dinner, and I have it on good authority that he'll also be in attendance. I've been building up to this moment for over two years. Sad I know. But I do have my reasons as to why it's taken so long. Every other time I might have wanted to say something to him, situations and circumstances have prevented it from happening. Really it has. This time around though, it will happen one way or another. I will not let December 30th 2007 arrive without finding out if this guy could be interested in me at all. And I feel that this might be my only chance before my birthday/end of the year, because I only see him when there is an occasion or gathering, and I can't think of another reason as to why everyone will be getting together again before New Year's Eve. So I HAVE to do it. Oh my gosh... I'm nervous now.
My plan of action is to get him alone in a corner and hump him. Joke! If I did that, all you'd have to do is look out the window and you'd see me running up the street! Imagine the shame! No really, I plan to just chat to him as we normally do (because we are actually friends now, and trust me - it has been hard work), but later get him on his own and just ask if he would like to go out for a drink or to the cinema with me one day. That's harmless enough isn't it? There's no pressure in that is there? It's better than me saying, "I like you, and I have done for two years. I think you and I would be really good together, because you're everything I'm looking for in a man. Do you like me?" Ugh. I don't think I'd hang around long enough to hear his answer. Once again if you looked out the window, you'd see me just turning the corner at the end of the street. I could never shame myself in such a way.
The scary thing is, without realising it, I have taken a sort of 'Law of Attraction' approach to this situation. I haven't imagined that he might say no. According to the Law of Attraction, if you want something bad enough you have to imagine yourself with that 'thing' or in that 'situation' every day, and that is what I have done unconsciously. It only occurred to me yesterday that he could tell me he's not interested. What the hell would I do?? Anyway I can't even think that way, because it's not part of the plan. So please cross your fingers for me, pray for me and wish me happiness! You don't want me to sad... you won't like me when I'm sad... (said like Bruce Banner before he changes into the Hulk).
Oooh... I'm really really looking forward to Saturday. That is the day I plan to make my intentions clear to the guy I plan to marry later in life. We'll call him Boy Wonder (simply because I'm Wondering why this Boy isn't mine already!). I will be attending a birthday dinner, and I have it on good authority that he'll also be in attendance. I've been building up to this moment for over two years. Sad I know. But I do have my reasons as to why it's taken so long. Every other time I might have wanted to say something to him, situations and circumstances have prevented it from happening. Really it has. This time around though, it will happen one way or another. I will not let December 30th 2007 arrive without finding out if this guy could be interested in me at all. And I feel that this might be my only chance before my birthday/end of the year, because I only see him when there is an occasion or gathering, and I can't think of another reason as to why everyone will be getting together again before New Year's Eve. So I HAVE to do it. Oh my gosh... I'm nervous now.
My plan of action is to get him alone in a corner and hump him. Joke! If I did that, all you'd have to do is look out the window and you'd see me running up the street! Imagine the shame! No really, I plan to just chat to him as we normally do (because we are actually friends now, and trust me - it has been hard work), but later get him on his own and just ask if he would like to go out for a drink or to the cinema with me one day. That's harmless enough isn't it? There's no pressure in that is there? It's better than me saying, "I like you, and I have done for two years. I think you and I would be really good together, because you're everything I'm looking for in a man. Do you like me?" Ugh. I don't think I'd hang around long enough to hear his answer. Once again if you looked out the window, you'd see me just turning the corner at the end of the street. I could never shame myself in such a way.
The scary thing is, without realising it, I have taken a sort of 'Law of Attraction' approach to this situation. I haven't imagined that he might say no. According to the Law of Attraction, if you want something bad enough you have to imagine yourself with that 'thing' or in that 'situation' every day, and that is what I have done unconsciously. It only occurred to me yesterday that he could tell me he's not interested. What the hell would I do?? Anyway I can't even think that way, because it's not part of the plan. So please cross your fingers for me, pray for me and wish me happiness! You don't want me to sad... you won't like me when I'm sad... (said like Bruce Banner before he changes into the Hulk).
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