Bore Off...

Dear Anyone,

I'm bored. I don't just mean right at this minute, I mean generally in life. Really I shouldn't be, because I do have a few things coming up. Like for instance, I'm going to Paris for one night this Saturday with the girlies who I went to Cannes with in April. It's sort of a reunion and it's going to be crazy, but overall it'll definitely be fun.

And I've got a fun-filled Cousins Weekend two weeks afterwards, at Wonder's house. Drinking, partying, drinking, eating, drinking, playing games, drinking, chatting, drinking and gossiping. We might also have a couple of drinks at some point.

And I'm going away at Christmas for my dad's 60th birthday/retirement party. I'm hoping that would be fun, but since the cousins that were supposed to come are no longer coming, and none of my friends will be there - who knows? I know what I'm talking about, I've spent many a boring Christmas at my dad's.

But then what after that? I'm kind of bored in advance of life (if that makes sense!). I'm not going to harp on about it, just thought I'd mention it. That's all.

Kick Up The Bum

Dear Anyone,

One of my friends on Facebook posed a question in his status, asking why people put up with disrespect in the name of love. One of his friends responded with a long but very interesting view, which is basically common sense and nothing new, but at this time I feel that it's something I need to hear...

"Love can be crazy like that! It doesn't see your short comings! That’s why leaving an abusive relationship can be painful - your common sense tells you "you're stupid to stay!", while your heart tells you "don’t give up!"

(The best thing to do is to) reveal to the disrespectful person that they are being very disrespectful to you, and that it hurts, and if they don’t care, and are not willing to make changes for the better....accept that they don’t love you, separate from them, and deal with the pain! It will only make you stronger and wiser and less of a mug!

A lack of self worth can come from being treated wrongly in the past, e.g. from parents, teachers, anyone who plays an important role in your life, or who you looked up to as a child. You grow up thinking this is the norm, unless someone sheds some light on things.

Trying to change someone else is a fools game! You cannot change anyone. People change if THEY really want to. You might have some temporary success in it, but you end up pushing away the one you're trying to change.

Love does not hurt, and can not, because its not an emotion. But we FEEL we can identify love through such things as affection, giving, spending time together....all good. Love is the total opposite to selfishness - it is selfless... The things that stem from LOVE are: Peace, Joy, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self-Control....and many more things we can name that are good, can come under these.

The perfect demonstration of LOVE is JESUS. He came, suffered and died for you and I, so that we could receive eternal life and be with Him for eternity in Heaven. Now if you could really understand how extreme that is, to be so selfless, and pay the price for people who hate you, who whip you with a whip that rips the skin off your bones, and then to be spat at, punched, cursed and then to be nailed to a cross, and had done nothing wrong....but still willing to go through with it, because of knowing that He would gain YOU! Now that’s LOVE my friend, and it didn’t feel good, it hurt! To this day I know nobody who's willing to do that for me!

Why would I reject such a LOVE? I can’t!"

So simple, yet it's a kick I think I need...

Play Your Silly Games

Dear Anyone,

Things haven't been going too well with Tod recently, and I'm starting to get a little tired of it to be honest.

A couple of weeks ago my friend Shar informed me of rumours she had been told, involving Tod and other girls, so naturally I asked him about it. I didn't do it in any sort of accusing manner, I merely said to him that this is what I've heard, it's upset me and I want just want to know if it is true or not. Not surprisingly he flipped, and stuttered his way through his denial, saying that he's tired of people making things up about him, and that if it was true he would admit it to me and apologise.

For some strange reason he seems to think that Shar is the one responsible for the rumours, even though he knows who it was that had told her. For the rest of the day it was drama, phone calls and arguments between him (and his friend who has nothing to do with it), the person who the story came from and Shar. To be honest I have never seen him deny something so vehemently as he did that day, and has been since. Normally he'd try to brush it off, which would let me know he's lying, but the fact that he was making calls all over the place, and appearing to be extremely angry makes me think that maybe it was a lie. But he can't be surprised - sometimes your reputation precedes you, and sometimes it will follow you forever.

Now he's behaving like it's his time of the month - sulking, being distant, acting like he doesn't care about anything, and generally being miserable. Any time I ask what's wrong, he just says "Nothing" or "I dunno, I dunno." All he has said is that he now feels skeptical about things, because people keep telling lies about him, and he knows that things feel a bit different with us now, but he's trying to get it back to how it was. I can kind of see what he's doing though; he's almost trying to turn it around on me, and make me feel guilty for asking him about it. Sorry but that will not be happening here. I can understand if he is annoyed with me, because it may look like I don't trust him, but in all honesty I don't 100%. I can't help it, that's just how I feel. I definitely trust him more than I did in the beginning last year, but not whole-heartedly, and I think most of it is to do with the whole secrecy of us seeing each other. Not to say that I want to go blurting out details of my private life to all and sundry, but if people know, then they know. It's not a big deal to me. As I said to him - people will always talk, that's human nature, but they will get bored of the current subject and move on to the next.

I also get the impression that he is afraid of his feelings. Maybe he was liking me too much, so he's pulling away. I know that he (of all people!) is afraid of getting hurt, mostly because his ex-girlfriend left him for his friend, and he's not really able to get over that. There's always one that messes it up for everyone else! But it's still no excuse. I don't care anyway. Actually that's a lie, I do care, but I'm just not going to bother myself anymore. Any serious guy would rather try to re-assure me that I have nothing to worry about, and make sure that everything is ok between us. So this case leads me back to the title of the good book - He's Just Not That Into You...