No More Cowards

Dear Anyone,

Yesterday I saw a photo of Emperor and his girlfriend, and not only did I realise that I am no longer attracted to him, but I also generally attract cowards. I'm not saying that every guy I've ever been involved with is a coward, because I know a lot of it is my fault for not spotting the bullshit earlier, but of late it does seem that way.

Emperor is a coward, because he didn't have the balls to tell me that he decided to stay in his difficult relationship, which in itself is also a bit of a cowardly act. I saw them at an event last month which is what confirmed it for me, even though it was obvious anyway from his silence on the subject. Every time we spoke, he was usually going on about work, as if there wasn't anything else we should be discussing. What.Ever.


Undeserving Tod was a coward because he didn't really want people we both knew to know that we were seeing each other, but it was fine for us to be around his mates. It was almost as though he was ashamed, but really it was so that he could see as many others as he wished.


Bumper didn't have the balls to admit he was in fact engaged and soon to be a father again.


There was another guy in my past who was supposedly in an unhappy relationship, but he was too scared to leave this unhappy relationship because he had a child with his girlfriend and another child from a previous relationship, and he didn't want to look like someone who has kids and leaves, or some such shite.


Oh - and I recently found out that Fisher, the first guy I met from the dating site, has a son who looks about three years-old. This is after him telling me he has no kids, blah blah blah. I'm not bothered at all really, just annoyed that he lied about something like that, but on the plus side, it showed me that you must ALWAYS go with your gut instinct.


I wouldn't call Muscle and Boy Wonder cowards really. I think Muscle just wasn't that into me or didn't know how to multi-task, and it just wasn't the right time or circumstances for Boy Wonder. Or maybe they're the ones I found most ideal and I'm making excuses for them! Ha ha! Who knows...


The search continues, and I'm hoping to break this cowardly cycle, but I'm also wondering if it's just a trait I have to expect in one way or another.