Play Your Silly Games

Dear Anyone,

Things haven't been going too well with Tod recently, and I'm starting to get a little tired of it to be honest.

A couple of weeks ago my friend Shar informed me of rumours she had been told, involving Tod and other girls, so naturally I asked him about it. I didn't do it in any sort of accusing manner, I merely said to him that this is what I've heard, it's upset me and I want just want to know if it is true or not. Not surprisingly he flipped, and stuttered his way through his denial, saying that he's tired of people making things up about him, and that if it was true he would admit it to me and apologise.

For some strange reason he seems to think that Shar is the one responsible for the rumours, even though he knows who it was that had told her. For the rest of the day it was drama, phone calls and arguments between him (and his friend who has nothing to do with it), the person who the story came from and Shar. To be honest I have never seen him deny something so vehemently as he did that day, and has been since. Normally he'd try to brush it off, which would let me know he's lying, but the fact that he was making calls all over the place, and appearing to be extremely angry makes me think that maybe it was a lie. But he can't be surprised - sometimes your reputation precedes you, and sometimes it will follow you forever.

Now he's behaving like it's his time of the month - sulking, being distant, acting like he doesn't care about anything, and generally being miserable. Any time I ask what's wrong, he just says "Nothing" or "I dunno, I dunno." All he has said is that he now feels skeptical about things, because people keep telling lies about him, and he knows that things feel a bit different with us now, but he's trying to get it back to how it was. I can kind of see what he's doing though; he's almost trying to turn it around on me, and make me feel guilty for asking him about it. Sorry but that will not be happening here. I can understand if he is annoyed with me, because it may look like I don't trust him, but in all honesty I don't 100%. I can't help it, that's just how I feel. I definitely trust him more than I did in the beginning last year, but not whole-heartedly, and I think most of it is to do with the whole secrecy of us seeing each other. Not to say that I want to go blurting out details of my private life to all and sundry, but if people know, then they know. It's not a big deal to me. As I said to him - people will always talk, that's human nature, but they will get bored of the current subject and move on to the next.

I also get the impression that he is afraid of his feelings. Maybe he was liking me too much, so he's pulling away. I know that he (of all people!) is afraid of getting hurt, mostly because his ex-girlfriend left him for his friend, and he's not really able to get over that. There's always one that messes it up for everyone else! But it's still no excuse. I don't care anyway. Actually that's a lie, I do care, but I'm just not going to bother myself anymore. Any serious guy would rather try to re-assure me that I have nothing to worry about, and make sure that everything is ok between us. So this case leads me back to the title of the good book - He's Just Not That Into You...