Worth Waiting For?

Dear Anyone,

Yesterday RG and I had a discussion about 'The One'. Now she, being the ultimate romanticist, believes that he is out there, and that you should be patient and wait for things to happen, because they will, as it is written in your destiny from the day you are born. I, on the other hand, don't share the same views exactly. Call me pessimistic if you like, but I see it more as 'realistic.'

I definitely believe that there is someone for everyone. Actually I believe there are three perfect people for every person. But to me, a big chunk of my disbelief is due to my age. RG is five years younger than me, so in a way she still has quite a bit of time to meet The One, and be with him for a few years before getting married and starting a family. I am nearly 31 and I am starting to believe less and less that I'm going to find 'Him'. I might end up settling for someone who feels strongly for me, but whose feelings I can't fully reciprocate.

When I told her this, she reeled off a list of couples we know of, who consider each other to be The One. The problem for me is that they all met each other at young ages. One couple have been married for two years, but the girl is RG's age - so that doesn't count. Another couple are the same age as me and about to have their first child. "That's not so bad," you might say, but they've been together since they were about 16, so that doesn't count. Another couple were married last year. They are slightly older than me, but again they have been together for over 10 years - so they don't count either. What do they all have in common? Answer: a head start.

Until my experience of Boy Wonder (or lack thereof) and also dating Muscle, I used to believe that I could find someone who ticked at least 90% of my boxes. I considered those two to have ticked that amount. But obviously it didn't work out with either of them, so now I'm thinking that for the sake of my biological clock, I should just work with what I'm given. I don't want to be 38, 40 or 45 before I have my first child. I didn't even want to be 30 before becoming a mother, but... well... what choice do I have now?

I know what a good catch I am, and what a great girlfriend I would make, but what is the point of walking around thinking this if you don't get a proper chance to prove it? I could recite 'I'm great, I'm hot, I'm fab' in the mirror as many times a day as I'd like, but really they're just words. How can it proven?

This all sounds really sad, I know, but I guess I'm just losing faith. I haven't completely lost it all, but it is waning. RG asked whether I believe that by hanging around successful people, it could rub off on you to also become a success. I believe that with everything else but relationships. One thing I hate is being the only single person around couples. I find it extremely uncomfortable and quite depressing, so the last thing I am going to do is purposely hang around all my paired-up friends, thinking that this will help The One spot me in the crowd. I think SP already knows this about me, because I always ask who else will be there if she invites me somewhere with her and Joseph.

I will do my best to get out of the 'realistic' way of thinking, and embrace the 'optimistic' one, but I won't lie - that will take plenty of time...