Is He A Pussy Or A Fraud?

Dear Anyone,

This is the question I would like you to answer for me today.  Is Joe a pussy or is he a fraud?  Or is he a fraudulent pussy?  Actually no, because that would mean he's pretending to be a pussy, and that certainly isn't the case.

In two days time it will be exactly six weeks since the last time I laid eyes on him in person, and two weeks since we spoke on the phone.  He has fallen off in such a spectacular manner that I just can't comprehend it.  I truly, truly can not get my head around it.  It has been the same issue I told you about before, he's been broke etc, so we haven't been anywhere or done anything.  But then it became like he wasn't fussed about the fact that we hadn't spent anytime together.  When I drew his attention to the fact that it was approaching a month, he said: "I know hun, but it's been for reasons that can't be helped."  Prick.  These reasons predominantly involved his sons, who aren't bloody toddlers, or the fact that he says he's really broke and "can't" pay his phone bill, and doesn't want to waste his petrol or put a few extra pounds on his Oyster card.  I'm not begrudging that he has children at all, but I slightly feel like he babies them.  They're nearly 15 years old.  I wonder how he had relationships in the past, and still managed to be a dad.  Then with the money thing; his phone was suspended and became incoming only.  I didn't mind being the one to call every evening at first, but then it was annoying, because if he didn't answer it wasn't like he'd be able to return the call.  I would rather have to keep trying, then I'd feel like a bug-a-boo.  And because he's a "nice" guy, I wouldn't know if he's speaking to me to be polite or if he really did want to speak to me.  In the beginning if his phone was playing up, he'd email me if he couldn't text.  Then it became that his home internet service was cut off, and at work they'd restricted their internet use and completely blocked Facebook.  It sounds ridiculous, but I had no reason to think he was lying, because I figured that would be an embarrassing thing to have to tell a woman anyway.  So he had no phone, no internet at home and monitored internet at work.  On top of all this, I had invited him out to the birthday gathering of one of my friends, and he gave the excuse that Croydon was "a trek" and it would depend on what time it finished, because he'd have to get home to the boys (even though his mum was there).  This was as well as suggesting we go to the cinema and it would be on me.  I think my final straw came when I invited him to come and be in the audience of a gameshow taping, and he insisted he'd be there every time I asked if he was still up for it.  Then of course on the day something had to come up, again to do with one of his sons who had injured his rib playing football the previous week.  I'm not in any way saying that he shouldn't be worried about his child, but I was pissed off because I KNEW that SOMETHING would happen to stop us meeting up.  I knew it, and I was annoyed that I was proven right.

So two weeks ago I called him with the intention of telling him how I was feeling, and the first couple times there was no answer.  Then he answered and said he wasn't really busy but he was watching football.  Cool I'll call him back in a bit, because I knew he wouldn't really be listening to me properly.  Called back and he was having a conversation with his mum.  Ok... I'll call back again in a bit.  Called back and I'd woken him up.  Was he having a laugh??  He asked if I could call back the next day after 7pm.  But I didn't.  Instead I sent him a long text to read and understand at his leisure (made up of four individual texts, because I didn't want to risk that [Receiving text] that doesn't actually come nonsense) telling him how I felt.  It wasn't antagonistic in any way, I left the ball in his court for him to find a way to contact me if he still wants to be with me.

Up till now I've not heard a peep.  I know he has access to an internet cafe, so why hasn't he emailed?  Why hasn't he borrowed someone's phone to ask me to call him back on his?  Why hasn't he quickly snuck a call from his work phone?  He's a liar and a fraud.  All the things he's told me about the way he is must have been lies.  He's a pussy.  If circumstances have changed and he doesn't want to get into anything right now, why can't he tell me.  One thing he said he disliked was not getting closure, yet he's leaving me without some.  Prick.

I don't think I'd ever had so much hope in a guy being the one that God was saving me for.  I felt that we were both single because God was saving us for each other.  I'm still trying to figure out what lesson I'm supposed to be learning from this, but I can't.  I'm a bit angry with God too if I'm honest, but He knows I'm not a wicked person and that it's because I'm hurt.  All my (what everyone calls) negative feelings have returned, and this time it has been proven that hope and positive thinking are just set-ups.  I really believe that as much as I want to get married and have all the traditional things, it's not what I'm supposed to have.  So if I know this and just focus on "having fun" it won't matter that I'm going to be 35 this year and still single, and it won't matter if I reach 50 never having been in love.