Dear Anyone,
I've been in two minds about reporting this, because... really... well... it's no biggie to be honest. But for the sake of keeping you up to speed: I was chatting to Muscle on Facebook the other day, and he kinda threw into the conversation that he's seeing someone now. My stomach did a little flip for a second, and obviously a million questions and thoughts went through my mind, a few of them cuss words (after all I am a human with feelings!) but at the end of the day, it is what it is. I know I said I was leaving him in 09 and I kind of did in that I wasn't going to be pursuing anything with him, but... you know...
Oh well, I guess it just wasn't meant to be me...
Along I plod...
Wednesday, 12 January 2011
Tuesday, 4 January 2011
Dreams Can Come True (Really?!)
Dear Anyone,
I had a dream about Boy Wonder last night, and it was so vivid and real, that when I woke up I was slightly confused as to where I was (still in Ghana). Before your mind runs away with you, the dream wasn't in the slightest bit dirty. It was just one of those where he was being really sweet and gentlemanly, and all I really remember was that we were at an event and I had to leave, so he walked with me to the tube station, and even paid for a ticket so that he could wait on the platform with me (?). Weird, I know.
Now it has kinda taken me back to that funk where I start wondering when it's gonna happen for me. I won't bore you with the same ole same ole moaning. There are a couple of guys who have shown interest in me, but I'm just not feeling them like that, and I won't force myself to either.
A couple months ago I was supposed to go on a second date with Angelfish, and this was after messenger conversations here and there, where he had seemed to discover the art of flirting. It didn't actually do that much for me, but I gave him 'B' for effort. This was also after he had posted a status saying: "Sorry I don't do chasing", which I then asked him about. He said he was referring to women, so I told him that there is a difference between 'chasing' and 'making an effort'. He then changed his status to: "Sorry I don't do chasing, but I do make an effort". Bull. Anyway, we'd agreed to meet on a Friday evening, and he asked me what I wanted to do, so I said maybe a restaurant or cinema. He suggested a bar near his place (which is in the extreme north of London and I'm south) and said that if I get wasted I'm welcome to stay over at his, because he has a spare room. Since I wasn't just born the day before, I politely declined that offer and suggested we meet somewhere a little more central to both our locations, and he said he'd find somewhere. All good so far. Then four days before the date, I received this message:
"Hi been thinking and it has come to light the distance between us is going to be an issue so maybe we should leave Friday, as from a relationship perspective I can see this being a problem. Hopefully we can be cool on messenger?"
I simply replied: "Wow, ok fine."
All you can do is laugh really. Who said anything about a relationship?? This would have been the SECOND date. I can't say I was upset, all I could think was that I could see why he's single. He's difficult, not as easy-going as he thinks he is. So lo-and-behold I received this message from him yesterday:
"Hi just wanted to apologise for throwing a childish tamp in regards to us meeting up a few weeks back."
I simply replied: "It's cool, don't worry about it." I just hope he doesn't suggest we try and rearrange, because that ain't happening love. I will not be forcing something that is not there.
At this rate I might have to live vicariously through my dreams, because they don't seem to want to come true any time soon!
I had a dream about Boy Wonder last night, and it was so vivid and real, that when I woke up I was slightly confused as to where I was (still in Ghana). Before your mind runs away with you, the dream wasn't in the slightest bit dirty. It was just one of those where he was being really sweet and gentlemanly, and all I really remember was that we were at an event and I had to leave, so he walked with me to the tube station, and even paid for a ticket so that he could wait on the platform with me (?). Weird, I know.
Now it has kinda taken me back to that funk where I start wondering when it's gonna happen for me. I won't bore you with the same ole same ole moaning. There are a couple of guys who have shown interest in me, but I'm just not feeling them like that, and I won't force myself to either.
A couple months ago I was supposed to go on a second date with Angelfish, and this was after messenger conversations here and there, where he had seemed to discover the art of flirting. It didn't actually do that much for me, but I gave him 'B' for effort. This was also after he had posted a status saying: "Sorry I don't do chasing", which I then asked him about. He said he was referring to women, so I told him that there is a difference between 'chasing' and 'making an effort'. He then changed his status to: "Sorry I don't do chasing, but I do make an effort". Bull. Anyway, we'd agreed to meet on a Friday evening, and he asked me what I wanted to do, so I said maybe a restaurant or cinema. He suggested a bar near his place (which is in the extreme north of London and I'm south) and said that if I get wasted I'm welcome to stay over at his, because he has a spare room. Since I wasn't just born the day before, I politely declined that offer and suggested we meet somewhere a little more central to both our locations, and he said he'd find somewhere. All good so far. Then four days before the date, I received this message:
"Hi been thinking and it has come to light the distance between us is going to be an issue so maybe we should leave Friday, as from a relationship perspective I can see this being a problem. Hopefully we can be cool on messenger?"
I simply replied: "Wow, ok fine."
All you can do is laugh really. Who said anything about a relationship?? This would have been the SECOND date. I can't say I was upset, all I could think was that I could see why he's single. He's difficult, not as easy-going as he thinks he is. So lo-and-behold I received this message from him yesterday:
"Hi just wanted to apologise for throwing a childish tamp in regards to us meeting up a few weeks back."
I simply replied: "It's cool, don't worry about it." I just hope he doesn't suggest we try and rearrange, because that ain't happening love. I will not be forcing something that is not there.
At this rate I might have to live vicariously through my dreams, because they don't seem to want to come true any time soon!
Thursday, 30 December 2010
Thanks For Another Year
Dear God,
Once again thank you for allowing me to see another birthday and another year through, especially when so many don't. Again I ask that you give me the patience to wait for the things I want in life to come at the right time.
Through your son Jesus Christ, Amen.
33..... I'm well in there now - eek!!
Once again thank you for allowing me to see another birthday and another year through, especially when so many don't. Again I ask that you give me the patience to wait for the things I want in life to come at the right time.
Through your son Jesus Christ, Amen.
33..... I'm well in there now - eek!!
Thursday, 23 December 2010
"In Ghana Here..."
Dear Anyone,
Tomorrow will be two weeks since I came to Ghana, and it has been really good to just do feck all. Absolutely nothing I don't want to do, all day long. In hot weather. Especially as I am seeing and reading reports of the horrible snow in london, and the disruption it's causing. I can't even imagine it right now. I know it sounds like I'm gloating, but that's because I am... Haha. I'm currently writing to you from the makeshift office I've set up outside. My family think I'm crazy, and I think they don't realise what my weather alternative is!
I said I was coming to Ghana to see what potential work opportunities there may be over here, and I have done some enquiring . It seems that if I was coming to just do an office job I'd have no problems findng work, but because I want to work in Media/Journalism, it may not be so simple. It is very 'who you know' over here, and those I know aren't in the media industry, but those I've asked all say they know someone somewhere who did this or knows that person, so will ask. Plus a lot of suggestions have been that I should work with the TV stations, but I don't actually know what I would do. It's funny though, because whenever you mention 'Journalism' to Ghanaians, they automatically think you want to work on television, reading the news. Me on camera? You're 'avin a laugh son.
I've decided to change my focus slightly though, and instead do research into an idea for a business that SP and I had a while ago. I won't say what it is yet, but I think there's definitely a gap in the market for it. So many people my age and younger are thinking about businesses to set up over here, because Ghana is growing so quickly, and I think the secret is to think just slightly outside the box.
To be honest, I haven't really decided if I could live here yet, and I don't want to find any job just because it's in Ghana, because that isn't my plan. My plan is to get some career-relevant experience if possible, maybe for a couple of months. Granted, if we were to start a business here, we'd obviously have to operate predominantly from here, but that would be okay because it would be something I'd have an interest in.
As for the opposite sex here; so far the potential is saying nada to me. We've been out to a couple clubs and parties, and the guys here are stuck on trying to look like they have money. The whole dated 'popping bottles' thing is still very much rife here. When I told people I was coming here, almost everyone said things along the lines of: "you might meet your future husband". Truthfully, that hasn't been high on my agenda for Ghana. I'm far too fussy when it comes to the type of Ghanaian guy I'd like, I won't lie. As bad as it might sound, the accent doesn't do it for me, and it's made worse by those who put on fake American or Jamaican accents! Ugh. So I've always responded with the idea that if I do meet someone here, I'd really really like him to be a British Ghanaian like myself. You also have to look out for the opportunists who lie about themselves, thinking it would get them money or a ticket overseas. Good luck with getting those from me!
But I am enjoying just chilling out here, because God knows that won't be the case when I return to London. I receive my last pay today, so the serious work search starts now!
Tomorrow will be two weeks since I came to Ghana, and it has been really good to just do feck all. Absolutely nothing I don't want to do, all day long. In hot weather. Especially as I am seeing and reading reports of the horrible snow in london, and the disruption it's causing. I can't even imagine it right now. I know it sounds like I'm gloating, but that's because I am... Haha. I'm currently writing to you from the makeshift office I've set up outside. My family think I'm crazy, and I think they don't realise what my weather alternative is!
I said I was coming to Ghana to see what potential work opportunities there may be over here, and I have done some enquiring . It seems that if I was coming to just do an office job I'd have no problems findng work, but because I want to work in Media/Journalism, it may not be so simple. It is very 'who you know' over here, and those I know aren't in the media industry, but those I've asked all say they know someone somewhere who did this or knows that person, so will ask. Plus a lot of suggestions have been that I should work with the TV stations, but I don't actually know what I would do. It's funny though, because whenever you mention 'Journalism' to Ghanaians, they automatically think you want to work on television, reading the news. Me on camera? You're 'avin a laugh son.
I've decided to change my focus slightly though, and instead do research into an idea for a business that SP and I had a while ago. I won't say what it is yet, but I think there's definitely a gap in the market for it. So many people my age and younger are thinking about businesses to set up over here, because Ghana is growing so quickly, and I think the secret is to think just slightly outside the box.
To be honest, I haven't really decided if I could live here yet, and I don't want to find any job just because it's in Ghana, because that isn't my plan. My plan is to get some career-relevant experience if possible, maybe for a couple of months. Granted, if we were to start a business here, we'd obviously have to operate predominantly from here, but that would be okay because it would be something I'd have an interest in.
As for the opposite sex here; so far the potential is saying nada to me. We've been out to a couple clubs and parties, and the guys here are stuck on trying to look like they have money. The whole dated 'popping bottles' thing is still very much rife here. When I told people I was coming here, almost everyone said things along the lines of: "you might meet your future husband". Truthfully, that hasn't been high on my agenda for Ghana. I'm far too fussy when it comes to the type of Ghanaian guy I'd like, I won't lie. As bad as it might sound, the accent doesn't do it for me, and it's made worse by those who put on fake American or Jamaican accents! Ugh. So I've always responded with the idea that if I do meet someone here, I'd really really like him to be a British Ghanaian like myself. You also have to look out for the opportunists who lie about themselves, thinking it would get them money or a ticket overseas. Good luck with getting those from me!
But I am enjoying just chilling out here, because God knows that won't be the case when I return to London. I receive my last pay today, so the serious work search starts now!
Friday, 3 December 2010
See Ya! No Longer Gonna Be Ya!
Dear Anyone,
Today was my last day at work, and because it's a Friday I don't think the reality of not having to return will kick in until Monday, or maybe even Sunday night.
My close colleagues have been so sweet though, and they are really going to miss me - their words, not mine! Yesterday they presented me with my leaving gifts: a t-shirt with pics of all of us, on which they'd all written messages, and a lovely silver charm bracelet. I'd arranged for us to go out for drinks after work, but I didn't want it to be a big thing, so it was just my immediate team and a couple of the clients I got on with. We went for drinks at Thai Silk, where I was forced to down five shots (one called a 'Brain Haemorrhage' that tasted lovely but felt really wird in my mouth) and two cocktails. I should be drunk, but I don't feel it. Tomorrow morning will tell. I'm definitely going to miss my colleagues, but I'm not sad because I know for a fact I'll see them again soon. I've already been told I'm still welcome to attend the post Christmas team dinner in January, so if my team go, I'll go.
One of the security guards gave me a speech when I went to bid him farewell. "You take that baton, that beacon, that light, and go out there, and show the world what you are made of! Do us proud!" That just made me think "Wow...". I've been told numerous times how brave I am, and maybe I am, but the scary part is that people seem so sure that I'm capable achieving things that I myself am not sure I can do! The usual me would more than likely chicken out and think of all the reasons why it won't work, but it's too late for that, so that won't be an option.
Now begins the real hustle, where I have to find work of some sort to stay afloat. I'm off to Ghana on Monday to do some resting, thinking and planning, and to even network and see what opportunities they may have. Short-term though, I'm not ready to live there full time. It's all very scary and exciting! My main aim is to not go back to that situation where your whole aura goes downhill the closer you get to your place of work. We spend too many hours in a day working for us to hate what we're doing. When I return to London I want to be able to attend media events and just put myself out there as much as possible.
So please raise your glasses to new beginnings! They don't always have to start on January 1st! *Cheeeeers!!!*
Friday, 5 November 2010
I'm Outta Here!!!!
Dear Anyone,
I have only 6 words for you:
I JUST HANDED IN MY NOTICE!!!!!!!!!!
That is all... Stay tuned for further information.
I have only 6 words for you:
I JUST HANDED IN MY NOTICE!!!!!!!!!!
That is all... Stay tuned for further information.
Monday, 1 November 2010
Sudden Loss
Dear Anyone,
Today I'm sitting at home in shock and upset. One of my first cousins passed away suddenly yesterday, and I'm having trouble getting my head around it. I was with her only two days ago, and the next thing I know, I was looking at her body on the hospital bed last night. I can't believe it.
I know it only takes a split second for someone to die, so saying "I only just saw her" doesn't make sense, but that's all I can think. She cooked for us at her sister's house on Friday night, and I stayed over until Saturday morning, because it was too late for me to go home. Then I was supposed to get a lift home with her in the morning, but didn't, because she wasn't ready to leave when I was. But she'd been fine the whole time, no indication that something was wrong. Then yesterday my cousin Diggy called to say that she had been rushed to hospital because she'd been having trouble breathing, and next thing we know she's gone into cardiac arrest and the doctors couldn't revive her. It turns out she had a blood clot in her lung, and by the time I got to the hospital, she'd gone. It's scary because this time it's one of us, as opposed to it being an older member of the family.
I couldn't sleep last night, so I didn't go into work today, but I think I will tomorrow, because it's better to keep busy. All I keep thinking is that our family don't need any more bad news, my uncle's death is still quite fresh and now this. I just keep praying for God to spare the family, and look after my dad, because this will be a lot of stress on him, seeing as he is now everyone's dad.
Rest in Peace Big Sis, and keep smiling xxx
Today I'm sitting at home in shock and upset. One of my first cousins passed away suddenly yesterday, and I'm having trouble getting my head around it. I was with her only two days ago, and the next thing I know, I was looking at her body on the hospital bed last night. I can't believe it.
I know it only takes a split second for someone to die, so saying "I only just saw her" doesn't make sense, but that's all I can think. She cooked for us at her sister's house on Friday night, and I stayed over until Saturday morning, because it was too late for me to go home. Then I was supposed to get a lift home with her in the morning, but didn't, because she wasn't ready to leave when I was. But she'd been fine the whole time, no indication that something was wrong. Then yesterday my cousin Diggy called to say that she had been rushed to hospital because she'd been having trouble breathing, and next thing we know she's gone into cardiac arrest and the doctors couldn't revive her. It turns out she had a blood clot in her lung, and by the time I got to the hospital, she'd gone. It's scary because this time it's one of us, as opposed to it being an older member of the family.
I couldn't sleep last night, so I didn't go into work today, but I think I will tomorrow, because it's better to keep busy. All I keep thinking is that our family don't need any more bad news, my uncle's death is still quite fresh and now this. I just keep praying for God to spare the family, and look after my dad, because this will be a lot of stress on him, seeing as he is now everyone's dad.
Rest in Peace Big Sis, and keep smiling xxx
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