"Why Are We Waiiiiting"

Dear Anyone,

This may come as a complete shock to none of you, but I have still had no word from Boy Wonder. What the feck is he waiting for - Christmas? At this point that is very possible. Even Birthday Boy hasn't spoken to him since the day he returned the phone. Every time I hear the "Itchy & Scratchy" theme tune coming from my phone, and I see an unrecognised mobile number flashing, I get a little bit excited, but then that soon disappears when I answer and realise that it's one of my banks using cunning new ways to stop me from dodging their calls. They think they're smart.

I have one month and two days until I turn 30, and as the time edges closer and closer, I find myself more and more manless. It's terrible. Some people may say I'm being fussy, but I disagree. If I have been propositioned by someone I'm not attracted to, then I simply will not waste either of our time. Ask me again when I'm 35 and in the same predicament. By then I might have considered marrying for the sake of it. And as for having kids, I know a couple of guys who seem to be very good at making babies all over the place, so I'm sure one or two more won't make a difference to them. Ha ha ha - I'm only joking, I could never do that... I think...

Boy Wonder needs to realise that I would be a very good addition to his life. I sound like a crazy stalker, but I don't mean it in that way at all! We get on very well, and he behaves like he could be interested in me. And to me, he's almost exactly what I'm looking for, apart from the fact that he smokes. He's nice looking, taller than me, my age, lives in London, has no kids, funny, easy going - what else do you need?? He's the one who took MY number, for God's sake. I didn't pressure him in any way. Birthday Boy did tell me not to be surprised if I didn't hear from him within a week or maybe even a month, but Boy Wonder doesn't have to go and prove him right!!! Grrr.....