Dear Anyone,
One of my brother's friend's passed away from leukaemia yesterday. He was only 29. I can't believe it. I didn't even know him, I've only met him twice, but he seemed like a really nice guy. The first time I'd met him it was at a club and he recognised me (I don't know how!), so he came over and introduced himself as my brother's friend, and said that if I want a drink or anything I should just let him know and he'll look after me, because my brother is a very good friend of his. My friends and I thought it was so funny, because it's as if my brother is some kind of celebrity! That's not the first time that something like that has happened to me concerning him.
It's so sad. My brother was only with him a couple of days ago, because they went to sort out the guy's passport. He wanted to travel in the little time he had left, but then he developed a cold sore which then spread all over his face. I feel really sorry for my brother, because as far as I know he is the fourth friend that my brother has lost. The other three all died in the same year; one died in a car crash they were all in, one was stabbed to death by his brother, and the other (who was my brother's best friend) died in a motorbike accident. That one was the worst because it was such a shock. My brother and I haven't really been close for many years, but at that time I just wanted to hug him.
It's things like this that make me want to just do what I can to make myself happy, because you just never know...
Friday 28 March 2008
Wednesday 26 March 2008
You Wait Ages For One Bus...
.......... and about three come along at once! I had another date with Muscle on Saturday, and this time we went to the cinema. I spent the weekend at my cousin Wonder's house, so we went to an area in North London that's much closer to him. It was another nice evening, even though the film was quite shite. There was a lot more 'physical bonding' between us - meaning he put his arm around me as soon as we sat on the bus, and throughout the film, and he was stroking me (and trying to be a lil naughty) and even while we waited for my bus back, we stood in an embrace. (Sigh). Twas nice. I do like him. BUT WE STILL HAVEN'T BLOODY KISSED YET. Sorry... I just had to let that out. I'm ok now. I was sure it would happen that night. I mean, come on, the cinema is a prime location for a kiss, isn't it??? Or has it been so long for me that I'm missing something? I refuse to say anything or be the one to make the first move (God forbid!!!). So I'm just going to have to be my usual strong self, and just....run home and snog my pillow instead!
On Sunday I went to a family event that Undeserving invited me to, which was the reason I was staying at Wonder's place - I dragged her with me. I was actually quite flattered that he invited me to be honest, because I wouldn't have expected it. It was quite good - good music and (some) food and (lots of) drink. I saw a couple of familiar faces, and he'd also invited a couple of the girls I have my suspicions about, but I didn't really care, because I think I'm on to something better. But true to form, at the end of the night when I went to say 'bye' to him, he whispered: "You gonna come home with me?" All I could do was laugh really, and I asked him if he'd forgotten that I didn't come alone, and he said "So? You could bring your cousin for my brother." Then he started laughing, because he knows he'd never seriously say that to me. I told him that we weren't sure how we were getting home, and he basically organised a lift for us with one of his friends, which was actually nice of him. That's why he's so confusing - he doesn't mean any harm, but he just does some really stupid things sometimes, and you can't understand why.
When we got home, I called him to say 'thank you' and he kept on saying that he's coming over to see me, as soon as he drops some things off at his mum's house. I knew he wouldn't, so I just humoured him and said 'ok.' Wonder was getting excited, because for some strange reason she likes all that she's heard about him. Whenever I called her to rant about him, she practically always took his side. Nutter. Anyway, he didn't end up coming over, even though he called about three more times to say that he's coming soon. In the end his reason was that he wasn't driving because he'd been drinking, and when he got home he had visitors (or something). Then on Monday afternoon he called me asking if I'd like some of the cake from the party. Who am I to say no to cake? But I didn't get to have my cake or eat it, because once again he never made it, giving the same excuses as usual. Yawn. He asked me if I'm going to come and see him during the week (it's his birthday today actually) and I said I can't, but I didn't really give a reason why. I don't know why he forces it. I didn't ask to see him. I haven't seen him since the beginning of February, so really it's fine. I'm cool, but thanks for the offer.
Then we have a guy called Romeo, who I met and had a brief 'involvement' with two years ago. He is basically a complete male-slag. He doesn't know that I know so much about him and his many women and many children. He's one of those who I'm sure doesn't actually know how many kids he has. We stopped seeing each other after about 3 months, and during my chat with him on Instant Messenger yesterday he admitted it was because he had started sleeping with one of his exes again, and that he was enjoying being with me a little too much. When men say that foolishness I can't understand it. If something is so good, why would you not want it to continue??? I can only assume he meant that he knows I deserve better, because all he would end up doing is hurting me. But I believe God is looking out for me, because he is not someone I could contemplate having a 'proper' relationship with. I'd be embarassed in front of the mutual friends we have who know what he's like.
So yesterday we had one of those honest conversations, where I was just questioning him about when he's going to sort his love life out and start being serious. For the past few weeks he's been asking me to come and see him, or suggesting that he could come to mine, but unfortunately for him I'm just not interested anymore. Yesterday he said it again, but put it in a way as to say 'one for the road,' because he'll be behaving himself as of next Tuesday. Guys make me laugh. They obviously think that once you've liked them, you'll like them forever. God forbid you should have moved on! So just to keep him happy I told him that I'd let him know on Thursday if I'll come round or not. Ha - he can wonder if Thursday will ever come....
On Sunday I went to a family event that Undeserving invited me to, which was the reason I was staying at Wonder's place - I dragged her with me. I was actually quite flattered that he invited me to be honest, because I wouldn't have expected it. It was quite good - good music and (some) food and (lots of) drink. I saw a couple of familiar faces, and he'd also invited a couple of the girls I have my suspicions about, but I didn't really care, because I think I'm on to something better. But true to form, at the end of the night when I went to say 'bye' to him, he whispered: "You gonna come home with me?" All I could do was laugh really, and I asked him if he'd forgotten that I didn't come alone, and he said "So? You could bring your cousin for my brother." Then he started laughing, because he knows he'd never seriously say that to me. I told him that we weren't sure how we were getting home, and he basically organised a lift for us with one of his friends, which was actually nice of him. That's why he's so confusing - he doesn't mean any harm, but he just does some really stupid things sometimes, and you can't understand why.
When we got home, I called him to say 'thank you' and he kept on saying that he's coming over to see me, as soon as he drops some things off at his mum's house. I knew he wouldn't, so I just humoured him and said 'ok.' Wonder was getting excited, because for some strange reason she likes all that she's heard about him. Whenever I called her to rant about him, she practically always took his side. Nutter. Anyway, he didn't end up coming over, even though he called about three more times to say that he's coming soon. In the end his reason was that he wasn't driving because he'd been drinking, and when he got home he had visitors (or something). Then on Monday afternoon he called me asking if I'd like some of the cake from the party. Who am I to say no to cake? But I didn't get to have my cake or eat it, because once again he never made it, giving the same excuses as usual. Yawn. He asked me if I'm going to come and see him during the week (it's his birthday today actually) and I said I can't, but I didn't really give a reason why. I don't know why he forces it. I didn't ask to see him. I haven't seen him since the beginning of February, so really it's fine. I'm cool, but thanks for the offer.
Then we have a guy called Romeo, who I met and had a brief 'involvement' with two years ago. He is basically a complete male-slag. He doesn't know that I know so much about him and his many women and many children. He's one of those who I'm sure doesn't actually know how many kids he has. We stopped seeing each other after about 3 months, and during my chat with him on Instant Messenger yesterday he admitted it was because he had started sleeping with one of his exes again, and that he was enjoying being with me a little too much. When men say that foolishness I can't understand it. If something is so good, why would you not want it to continue??? I can only assume he meant that he knows I deserve better, because all he would end up doing is hurting me. But I believe God is looking out for me, because he is not someone I could contemplate having a 'proper' relationship with. I'd be embarassed in front of the mutual friends we have who know what he's like.
So yesterday we had one of those honest conversations, where I was just questioning him about when he's going to sort his love life out and start being serious. For the past few weeks he's been asking me to come and see him, or suggesting that he could come to mine, but unfortunately for him I'm just not interested anymore. Yesterday he said it again, but put it in a way as to say 'one for the road,' because he'll be behaving himself as of next Tuesday. Guys make me laugh. They obviously think that once you've liked them, you'll like them forever. God forbid you should have moved on! So just to keep him happy I told him that I'd let him know on Thursday if I'll come round or not. Ha - he can wonder if Thursday will ever come....
Saturday 8 March 2008
I'm On A Roll..
Dear Anyone,
A second date - with the same person!!! That's right - I can't believe it either! Muscle text me on Thursday while I was at work, and asked me if I was free on Friday night to go and drink a couple of Mojito's. Now who am I to say 'no' to drink eh?! And that's exactly what I told him.
We met up after 10pm (because that's when I finish working at that damn place) and we went to a Latino bar in Waterloo, which was nice and quite busy. Once again it was a very nice evening, and quite a late one too. I didn't get home till about 2.30am. We spent the whole evening chatting about all sorts of things, and basically elaborating on what we spoke about last week. He's probably exactly the type of guy I'm looking for - my age group, good looking, intelligent, creative, funny, easy-going, enjoys travelling, has a bangin' body, and most importantly NO KIDS!! That is almost a rarity in this day and age.
I think I got a little tipsy, considering we bought four rounds of drinks (FYI - I don't think I'm a huge fan of Mojitos, a bit too lime-y), but don't worry I didn't stumble or do anything embarassing.
Getting home was a bit nonsensical though. I live in South London and Waterloo is in South London, yet why couldn't I find a night bus to take me to my area, which is only about 15 mins away??? I'm going to have to speak to whoever the Mayor of London is going to be.... I ended up having to take a bus with Muscle to Trafalgar Square, then taking a bus back home. I should have just found a cab station, but Waterloo probably doesn't have any of those either!! I think Muscle was feeling a bit frisky while we waited for the first bus though, because he had me sit on his lap (instead of the bench) at the bus stop, and he had his arms around me. Twas niiiiiice, I won't lie.
There was no goodbye kiss this time either, just a big hug and a kiss on my cheek. I think I could really like this guy, and maybe if there's a third date we can try another 'goodbye' method...
A second date - with the same person!!! That's right - I can't believe it either! Muscle text me on Thursday while I was at work, and asked me if I was free on Friday night to go and drink a couple of Mojito's. Now who am I to say 'no' to drink eh?! And that's exactly what I told him.
We met up after 10pm (because that's when I finish working at that damn place) and we went to a Latino bar in Waterloo, which was nice and quite busy. Once again it was a very nice evening, and quite a late one too. I didn't get home till about 2.30am. We spent the whole evening chatting about all sorts of things, and basically elaborating on what we spoke about last week. He's probably exactly the type of guy I'm looking for - my age group, good looking, intelligent, creative, funny, easy-going, enjoys travelling, has a bangin' body, and most importantly NO KIDS!! That is almost a rarity in this day and age.
I think I got a little tipsy, considering we bought four rounds of drinks (FYI - I don't think I'm a huge fan of Mojitos, a bit too lime-y), but don't worry I didn't stumble or do anything embarassing.
Getting home was a bit nonsensical though. I live in South London and Waterloo is in South London, yet why couldn't I find a night bus to take me to my area, which is only about 15 mins away??? I'm going to have to speak to whoever the Mayor of London is going to be.... I ended up having to take a bus with Muscle to Trafalgar Square, then taking a bus back home. I should have just found a cab station, but Waterloo probably doesn't have any of those either!! I think Muscle was feeling a bit frisky while we waited for the first bus though, because he had me sit on his lap (instead of the bench) at the bus stop, and he had his arms around me. Twas niiiiiice, I won't lie.
There was no goodbye kiss this time either, just a big hug and a kiss on my cheek. I think I could really like this guy, and maybe if there's a third date we can try another 'goodbye' method...
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