Fishing Trip III

Dear Anyone,

I decided to go fishing again, as in I browsed the dating website Plenty Of Fish, which I haven't visited in a while, and yesterday evening I met up with a guy I spotted on the site.

About two weeks ago I was reminded of the site when it was mentioned on someone's blog, and I thought "Oh yeah - that!" So I logged in to see what was happening, but as usual it wasn't much. They have a new section you can click on that says 'We can predict who you will date and marry', and of course it sounds so ridiculous that I just had to click to see what they call a match. I spotted a guy who I thought looked pretty cute, and when I read his profile it made me laugh, because it was quite honest, humourous, and best of all - he wrote correctly!! I'm a bit of a snob when it comes to correct written grammar, and I've stated quite clearly on my profile that I don't want to be contacted by voluntarily illiterate guys.

I sent him a message to say I liked his profile and that he is one of my POF predictions, and he responded that he also liked my profile, and many things I posses are a catch to him. We sent messages back and forth for the next two days or so, but he was travelling to Turkey for a week that weekend, so in his last message he left his number, and I responded with mine, because I thought it better that he calls me since I didn't know when he'd be back... and also because I didn't want to be the first to call! He called me last Saturday (when he got back) and I missed his call, then when I called back, he missed mine, and this continued until Sunday afternoon! When we eventually spoke the conversation was cool, not awkward in any way. He seemed quite laidback and easy-going.

On Tuesday we chatted briefly via Blackberry Messenger and arranged to meet for after work drinks on Thursday. While I was waiting I was praying SO HARD for God to let me like him. I have to be honest: I liked his profile picture a lot, I showed it to my friends and my manager, but the subsequent photos he sent me didn't do him justice, and he looked totally different in all three pics, so I was really hoping he at least looked like a cross between Photo 1 and Photo 3. And God came through. He looked pretty much like his profile picture. He was dressed smartly in a suit (because obviously he was coming from work) and taller than me (which isn't very hard, fair enough, but some poor guys can't manage that!). He told me that his hayfever was quite bad that day, because he forgot his medicine. We went for drinks at a bar/restaurant near my workplace, and being that it was Happy Hour it was busy and we weren't able to sit, so we stood outside with our drinks and chatted. The conversation was cool, he asked a lot of questions and I asked questions back. We spoke about work, exercise, dating, the POF website, family, holidays, favourite foods, etc. He didn't seem as relaxed as I'd hoped, but I put that down to maybe nerves or discomfort with his hayfever. After an hour and a half and two cocktails each, we left. He offered me a lift home (and I didn't realise he had driven) and at first I declined, because he seemed really tired and had a long way to go, but he said it was no problem, so I let him. In the car he complimented me on my figure and said he can tell I work out quite a bit, to which I laughed and said that it was just good genes (and that's the truth, I can't afford to have muscles - the last thing I want is to look like some butch femme). When we got to my place we didn't stay in the car chatting or anything. I thanked him for the evening, and we just did the formal(ish) goodbye kiss on the cheek thing, and he said he'll speak to me soon.

There wasn't really any flirting on this date. My cousin Ursula described it perfectly when she asked me whether it was like going for drinks with a colleague. It kind of was, there wasn't really any chemistry as such, but I would be willing to meet again in a less 'formal' setting to see how he is. I sent him a message thanking him again this morning and I asked how his hayfever is, and he replied saying it was really nice meeting me and that his hayfever is much better today. So... I guess we'll see...

No More Cowards

Dear Anyone,

Yesterday I saw a photo of Emperor and his girlfriend, and not only did I realise that I am no longer attracted to him, but I also generally attract cowards. I'm not saying that every guy I've ever been involved with is a coward, because I know a lot of it is my fault for not spotting the bullshit earlier, but of late it does seem that way.

Emperor is a coward, because he didn't have the balls to tell me that he decided to stay in his difficult relationship, which in itself is also a bit of a cowardly act. I saw them at an event last month which is what confirmed it for me, even though it was obvious anyway from his silence on the subject. Every time we spoke, he was usually going on about work, as if there wasn't anything else we should be discussing. What.Ever.


Undeserving Tod was a coward because he didn't really want people we both knew to know that we were seeing each other, but it was fine for us to be around his mates. It was almost as though he was ashamed, but really it was so that he could see as many others as he wished.


Bumper didn't have the balls to admit he was in fact engaged and soon to be a father again.


There was another guy in my past who was supposedly in an unhappy relationship, but he was too scared to leave this unhappy relationship because he had a child with his girlfriend and another child from a previous relationship, and he didn't want to look like someone who has kids and leaves, or some such shite.


Oh - and I recently found out that Fisher, the first guy I met from the dating site, has a son who looks about three years-old. This is after him telling me he has no kids, blah blah blah. I'm not bothered at all really, just annoyed that he lied about something like that, but on the plus side, it showed me that you must ALWAYS go with your gut instinct.


I wouldn't call Muscle and Boy Wonder cowards really. I think Muscle just wasn't that into me or didn't know how to multi-task, and it just wasn't the right time or circumstances for Boy Wonder. Or maybe they're the ones I found most ideal and I'm making excuses for them! Ha ha! Who knows...


The search continues, and I'm hoping to break this cowardly cycle, but I'm also wondering if it's just a trait I have to expect in one way or another.

Still Single

Dear Anyone,

I'm kind of starting to get scared about how quickly this year is going, in terms of me finding a relationship. We're halfway through 2010, and I have no leads. Nothing! I still maintain that I want to get married in August next year, and I think that by me putting it out there in the Universe, it should happen, because the Universe should respond, right? Isn't that the secret of The Secret?

I have no updates on any guys I've previously mentioned - nothing juicy anyway. I saw Muscle a couple of weeks ago at a barbeque I invited him to, and he didn't stay long but we had a nice catch-up chat. I also went to an event that Emperor attended with his girlfriend, so that answers the questions I didn't have about that situation. Surprise surprise.

It feel like a lot of people are finding partners, and when I'm asked whether I'm single, the answer is still a resounding 'yes.' It's getting to the point where people think it's me being fussy, but I'm not. I'm not going to go on about it, because I can assure you that nothing has changed in terms of how I feel, I'm still quite lonely. I just don't want to become one of those people who everyone can rely on to be perpetually single.

Operation: Sort My Life Out!!!!

Dear Anyone,

Right now I'm sitting at home nursing a sore head and wonky vision, having been off work for two days. I feel as though I'm drunk with a head-rush. My doctor's diagnosis is that it's some sort of inner-ear virus, and tomorrow I have to go for a flippin' blood test. I HATE NEEDLES. My own diagnosis is that I'm stressed and my job is probably the biggest factor. I still hate it, that hasn't changed, but I think it's also because it has been really busy lately, and there have been a lot of people off sick, which means I usually end up covering, and I'm just generally a bit run-down. This is coupled with the worry of job-hunting and finding something new soon that will take me closer to my chosen career - writing.

One good thing though is that I have been able to think and put a career plan into action. I got together with SP last week to discuss ways in which I can basically leave my job sensibly - as in - at least find something that pays the minimum pittance I get now. It was, and she was, very similar to my life coach and the sessions I have with her. My ideal situation would be to freelance obviously, working from home, but that's going to be a work in progress. But we made lists and targets etc, and I feel really good about it all.

I also came to a conclusion during our meeting too. I've been afraid to entertain the idea of leaving my current job and rather temping in, because all I think about is how I would pay my share of the bills, and this is because my mum has kind of been hammering that point into me, so the thought of leaving work to maybe do an internship and temp didn't seem possible or make any sense. When I spoke to her about it, she said that all she was thinking about was how depressed I was when I was unemployed after graduating, and she doesn't want me to return to that dark place. She also said that when I was younger I was quite confident, bubbly and determined, but since the period of unemployment my confidence took a serious dive, which more than likely contributed to me not being able to hold down jobs I really wanted. I never really thought about it that way, but in hindsight she is definitely right. So I'm no longer going to blame those previous employers and say that is was their loss, because back then they probably didn't think there was anything special to keep.

I'm ready now though... I've done my time in Unsatisfiedland, and it's time for me to show what I've learned in the past few years. There's a reason I've been a magazine addict since the age of 10, and enjoy reading so much, and constantly correct people on their punctuation and grammatical errors - I'm a born journo.

SAY IT LOUD - I'M BACK AND I'M PROUD!!

T-eenage Crush

Dear Anyone,

Last night we went out partying, being a Bank Holiday and all, and it was quite a good night - good music, good company, etc. But that's not the important part. The important part is that I saw the guy that I had the longest ever crush on - from age 17 to about 25 (and it only stopped there because I think he moved away and I didn't see him anymore). He hasn't changed a bit! Still hot! If he asked me out now, would I? Hmm... I don't think I could, because he's Bumper's good friend and it just wouldn't be right, but it would be very very very hard to decline, I won't lie. In fact Bumper would probably have to understand, because he knows how much I liked this guy back then, so he wouldn't be suprised.

To me, he was the one I would look out for every time we went to a club or party. And if I saw him, it was a cross between me not being able to take my eyes off him and me not wanting him to see me looking at him. I LOVED this guy!! (Not literally of course). I usually end up becoming just friends with guys I like, but with him it went as far as us greeting each other if we were at the same place.

We didn't chat last night, but Bumper was being silly while standing with him at one point, and was pretending to talk about me while pointing. The guy (we'll call him Tee) was looking at me, trying to figure out who I was, and when he realised he waved, so I waved back, and according to my friend Roxy (and judging by the cheesy grin that must have been planted on my face on my face) I must have regressed to being a 17 year old again, because apparently I waved back like a schoolgirl with a crush. How embarrassing... BUT I DON'T CARE, BECAUSE I SAW HIM!

*Skips off down the street with pink and red bubble hearts floating around*

"It's Complicated"

Dear Anyone,


I've decided that men like the drama of a difficult girlfriend. They're completely attracted to it, it's what actually turns them on, and clearly where I've been going wrong. How else could you explain a 'complicated' situation? No relationship is ever complicated unless it will result in a person's death, and when is that ever the case??


I'm probably thinking mostly about Emperor. You probably gathered, since you haven't heard anything new about him, that there's nothing to report, and it's clearly obvious that he's decided to stay in his unfulfilling relationship, so I have decided to return to our previous, purely platonic friendship, otherwise I'd be sitting here waiting like a fool and I don't have time for that. In case you've forgotten - I'm 32.


I also have a feeling that Tod has a girlfriend, from things I've seen on Facebook.


There are two things that bug me about the above situations. Firstly, as I have already stated, I don't get why a drama-free, issue-free, non-difficult woman like me isn't better than one who carries her previous relationship insecurities, making her constantly suspicious. Obviously 'complicated' is where it's at. Maybe headaches are actually fun, and I just didn't get that memo. Secondly, and I can assure you that if Tod indeed does have a new girlfriend, I am in no way jealous simply because we are not suited to each other in the long-run. What gets my goat is - how is it fair that someone insincere like him, who doesn't treat women fairly, should then find happiness, and I'm still sitting here?! It wasn't supposed to work out that way. But then I'm not really surprised...


I guess I just have to sit here and watch everyone else progress in relationships, and keep praying for that whirlwind romance, which is currently my only hope.

Dare To Jump

Dear Anyone,

I think I must be crazy. Yesterday I did a free fall at work for Sport Relief, and I'm sure I can still feel myself shaking!

When I say 'free fall' don't think I'm talking about falling from an aeroplane (as a lot of people thought) because I'm only a partial idiot, not a complete one. This fall was from the third floor of our office building, and yes I know it sounds quite low, but it wasn't.

I was completely fine leading up to it, because I wasn't really sure what would be involved, so I didn't know what to imagine, even though everyone was saying they'd never do it. But when I actually reached the platform and had my harness attached... wow... to say I was scared is a complete understatement. I was SH*TTING myself! I couldn't let go of the railing, even though the guy who was assisting kept telling me that I don't have to jump, just step off. There were so many people at the bottom watching me - ALL my colleagues plus others. It took me about three minutes in total to do the fall, because I kept sticking my foot out and nearly doing it, but then the vertigo got the better of me and I couldn't do it. Every time I almost did, I could hear the crowd go "Ooooooh" which was quite funny. But I knew I had to do it, so in the end another of my colleagues, who had gone before me, offered to jump with me. By the way - no one actually told me you could jump in twos! Honestly if I had known, I would have forced my manager (who tricked me into thinking she was doing it too) to go with me. But my colleague held my hand, so there was no way I could hesitate, otherwise he would have probably ended up dragging me down, then I would have suffered a mid-air cardiac arrest, banged my head on landing and probably died. There's no need for that kind of drama really is there?

I did it though! I screamed all the way down, but I did it! Everyone was cheering, and I landed on my arse, which was embarrassing, and I doubt I'll ever do such an activity again, but I managed to raise £125.50 for Sport Relief, so it wasn't all bad!